1 00:00:11,150 --> 00:00:15,750 Gerry, man, why's it always me that does all the hard graft? 2 00:00:15,830 --> 00:00:18,390 Cos you're the one with the shovel. 3 00:00:18,470 --> 00:00:20,430 Ah, right. 4 00:00:20,510 --> 00:00:22,870 Aye, but even when there were no shovels, 5 00:00:22,950 --> 00:00:25,990 it's still me does the heavy, horrible stuff. 6 00:00:26,070 --> 00:00:29,270 That's cos you're the one that's heavy and horrible. 7 00:00:29,350 --> 00:00:32,580 Sewell, man, watch what you're doing. I want straight edges. 8 00:00:32,670 --> 00:00:37,380 What do you mean? It's pitch bloody black. Make do with zigzag. 9 00:00:37,470 --> 00:00:39,430 Here! 10 00:00:43,310 --> 00:00:45,910 Aw, shite! That was me last one. 11 00:00:47,390 --> 00:00:49,350 Ha'way, activity! Step on it, Sewell! 12 00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:52,700 Aw! Fuck, man, Sewell! You... 13 00:00:52,790 --> 00:00:55,460 Jesus, I need some bloody light, man. 14 00:00:59,110 --> 00:01:00,620 - Fuck it! - Shit! 15 00:01:00,710 --> 00:01:02,060 Come 'ere! 16 00:01:20,550 --> 00:01:23,300 'Finally, a spokesman for Newcastle United 17 00:01:23,390 --> 00:01:27,150 'described last night's theft of a penalty spot from St James's Park 18 00:01:27,230 --> 00:01:29,190 'as an act of mindless vandalism. 19 00:01:29,270 --> 00:01:33,580 'Head groundsman Charlie Harrison had just one word for it - sacrilege. 20 00:01:33,670 --> 00:01:35,740 'Travel and weather coming up next.' 21 00:01:35,830 --> 00:01:38,140 I don't understand it. 22 00:01:38,230 --> 00:01:39,790 "Sacrilege?" 23 00:01:39,870 --> 00:01:43,340 Well, it's, you know, making a mess of something sacred, like. 24 00:01:43,430 --> 00:01:45,660 No, "mindless". That's bollocks, man. 25 00:01:45,750 --> 00:01:48,220 We put a lot of thought into that. 26 00:01:48,310 --> 00:01:53,070 Like you said, if you can't be a part of it, take a part. 27 00:01:53,150 --> 00:01:57,830 - Dad! - Ha'way, son. Come on! That's it. 28 00:02:02,190 --> 00:02:04,580 Field of dreams, eh, Sewell, man? 29 00:02:08,630 --> 00:02:12,420 We can be part of it. I can see it now. 30 00:02:12,510 --> 00:02:16,350 We get in there dead early, like, soak up the atmosphere. 31 00:02:16,430 --> 00:02:20,550 We'll buy us both a huge cup of tea each. Two sugars, dead milky. 32 00:02:21,790 --> 00:02:24,100 And when the Magpies come out, 33 00:02:24,190 --> 00:02:27,740 we'll get up and go bananas, you know, like you do. 34 00:02:27,830 --> 00:02:31,710 Then they'll kick off and we'll just be there, all comfy, like, 35 00:02:31,790 --> 00:02:35,420 in our seats, sipping our tea, watching our Toon. 36 00:02:35,510 --> 00:02:38,630 - Belter, eh? - What are you on about? 37 00:02:38,710 --> 00:02:40,670 Season tickets. 38 00:02:40,750 --> 00:02:43,550 - Season tickets, us?! - Why, aye. 39 00:02:43,630 --> 00:02:45,380 Why not, like? 40 00:02:45,470 --> 00:02:49,990 They don't hand them out on the Social. They cost about £500 each! 41 00:02:50,070 --> 00:02:54,190 - So? - So?! We're £500 short... each! 42 00:02:54,270 --> 00:02:58,230 So? You know what you and me need, Sewell, man? 43 00:02:58,310 --> 00:03:00,830 Aye, about £1,000 by the sound of it. 44 00:03:00,910 --> 00:03:03,980 A mission. What do you say? 45 00:03:04,070 --> 00:03:07,590 All we get from thieving and twoccing, put it aside. 46 00:03:07,670 --> 00:03:11,660 Anything we think of, we do. We dinnae chuck it away, either. 47 00:03:11,750 --> 00:03:15,820 Pack in the tabs, pack in the dope, no booze and no glue. 48 00:03:15,910 --> 00:03:18,790 We save everything up for our season tickets. 49 00:03:18,870 --> 00:03:21,620 Well? There's a while till the season starts. 50 00:03:21,710 --> 00:03:23,590 We could do it easy, man. 51 00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:26,030 Right, you lot out of here. 52 00:03:26,110 --> 00:03:30,150 And you two, you little fuckers! You're not supposed to be up here! 53 00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:34,980 Know what we'll get, when we get our season tickets? 54 00:03:35,070 --> 00:03:37,060 Something you and me have never had. 55 00:03:40,310 --> 00:03:42,060 Proper pies? 56 00:03:42,150 --> 00:03:45,220 Respect, Sewell, man. Are you with us? 57 00:03:46,870 --> 00:03:50,660 Come on, clear off out of it, you fuckin' little toerags! 58 00:03:52,630 --> 00:03:54,780 Aye, I'm with you, Gerry, man. 59 00:03:59,670 --> 00:04:03,140 We canna fail, man. Especially with that lass looking after us. 60 00:04:03,230 --> 00:04:04,790 Who?! 61 00:04:04,870 --> 00:04:08,550 The Guardian Angel of fuckin' toerags. She'll see us through. 62 00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:11,580 'Ere y'are, Son. 63 00:05:11,670 --> 00:05:14,390 Oh... Ta, Dad. 64 00:05:20,150 --> 00:05:23,380 Dad, did you make this from the tap? 65 00:05:23,470 --> 00:05:26,270 Aye, Son. Is there something wrong? 66 00:05:26,350 --> 00:05:29,100 Hot's the one on the right, Dad. 67 00:05:32,190 --> 00:05:35,950 - I'll make you another. - No, no, you're all right. 68 00:05:36,030 --> 00:05:38,230 I'm off out. 69 00:05:44,350 --> 00:05:48,580 Take your coat off, Sewell, pet. You look like you've been lagged. 70 00:05:48,670 --> 00:05:50,660 I'm all right, ta, Mrs McCarten. 71 00:05:50,750 --> 00:05:54,740 You must be sweating rivers in there with all that blubber. 72 00:05:54,830 --> 00:05:58,740 I'm all right, Mrs McCarten, honest. I wouldn't feel the benefit. 73 00:06:03,670 --> 00:06:05,340 - All right, Sewell? - All right. 74 00:06:05,430 --> 00:06:08,150 All right, Mam? All right, our Sheara? 75 00:06:08,230 --> 00:06:09,630 Jesus, she stinks. 76 00:06:09,710 --> 00:06:12,540 - So did you. - Not like that, I'd remember. 77 00:06:12,630 --> 00:06:14,030 Still do sometimes. 78 00:06:14,110 --> 00:06:17,500 - Clare, what you doing? - Got some stuff for Mam. 79 00:06:17,590 --> 00:06:20,390 - Still no Bridget, then? - Nah. 80 00:06:20,470 --> 00:06:22,460 It's been three weeks now. 81 00:06:37,150 --> 00:06:39,270 You all right, Mrs McCarten? 82 00:06:39,350 --> 00:06:43,190 Never better, Sewell, son. Never better. 83 00:06:43,270 --> 00:06:45,150 Sewell, man, we gannin'? 84 00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:48,190 Where you off? Not be school by any chance, Son? 85 00:06:48,270 --> 00:06:51,310 I'm studyin' at the University of Life. 86 00:06:51,390 --> 00:06:53,270 My arse. 87 00:06:53,350 --> 00:06:56,340 Sewell, man, can you not talk some sense into... 88 00:06:56,430 --> 00:06:59,660 Nah, I'm askin' the wrong person there. 89 00:07:00,790 --> 00:07:02,910 See ya. 90 00:07:04,470 --> 00:07:07,070 So what's the plan, then, Gerry, man? 91 00:07:07,150 --> 00:07:09,510 Give us a chance. 92 00:07:09,590 --> 00:07:11,820 I could murder a tab. 93 00:07:11,910 --> 00:07:14,740 You've only been given up ten minutes. 94 00:07:14,830 --> 00:07:17,500 That's a record for me. 95 00:07:17,590 --> 00:07:21,980 Oh, Jesus. It's starin' us in the face, man. 96 00:07:22,070 --> 00:07:24,190 - What is? - Scrap, man. 97 00:07:24,270 --> 00:07:26,180 The river's full of it, look. 98 00:07:26,270 --> 00:07:29,100 Folk are always chucking away things they don't want. 99 00:07:29,190 --> 00:07:31,790 They don't want them, cos they're useless. 100 00:07:31,870 --> 00:07:33,990 Hadaway, there's loadsa money in scrap. 101 00:07:34,070 --> 00:07:36,670 - It's junk. - We gotta start somewhere. 102 00:07:36,750 --> 00:07:40,870 Everything's worth something. We just get in and pull it out. 103 00:07:40,950 --> 00:07:42,300 We?! 104 00:07:48,070 --> 00:07:50,140 Give us a hand, man. 105 00:07:50,230 --> 00:07:53,940 One of us must look good if we're gonna sell anything. 106 00:07:54,030 --> 00:07:55,540 Rule one - 107 00:07:55,630 --> 00:07:59,510 you might get money outta shite, but you canna smell like it. 108 00:08:04,070 --> 00:08:07,030 I'm trapped. Gerry, man, I'm sinking! 109 00:08:10,470 --> 00:08:12,670 Shit! 110 00:08:14,950 --> 00:08:16,300 Gerry! 111 00:08:16,390 --> 00:08:19,700 Watch mud-monster, and you shall learn. 112 00:08:19,790 --> 00:08:23,420 Practical science, like. If you stopped at school, you'd know. 113 00:08:23,510 --> 00:08:26,230 The bog first, then I'll get you. 114 00:08:26,310 --> 00:08:29,670 Second rule of scrap - leave the real shite till last. 115 00:08:32,390 --> 00:08:34,030 Rag and bone! 116 00:08:34,110 --> 00:08:37,310 - You're embarrassing, man. - I'm embarrassing?! 117 00:08:37,390 --> 00:08:40,620 Look at you. Do you want season tickets or not? 118 00:08:40,710 --> 00:08:43,380 Course I do, more than anything. 119 00:08:43,470 --> 00:08:45,540 Any old rag and bone! 120 00:08:45,630 --> 00:08:49,310 You're not the usual. Does Terry know you're doin' this? 121 00:08:49,390 --> 00:08:53,620 You know, Terry, the gadgie who normally comes round. 122 00:08:53,710 --> 00:08:56,180 You mean Uncle Terry. Aye. 123 00:08:56,270 --> 00:08:57,750 Hadaway you lying bastards. 124 00:08:57,830 --> 00:09:00,300 Come in, lads, I've got something for you. 125 00:09:07,830 --> 00:09:10,220 Eee, is that the new look, then? 126 00:09:10,310 --> 00:09:12,190 - Eh? - Pebble dash? 127 00:09:12,270 --> 00:09:16,060 You look like you've been stood the arse end of an elephant. 128 00:09:16,150 --> 00:09:18,790 Away, you bastards! They're me son's. 129 00:09:18,870 --> 00:09:21,070 It's a different one every week. 130 00:09:21,150 --> 00:09:23,900 14 of them in the house last night. 131 00:09:23,990 --> 00:09:25,660 They stink an' all. 132 00:09:25,750 --> 00:09:28,660 But he gans mad if I mention it. 133 00:09:28,750 --> 00:09:31,390 Anyway, lads, this is what you can take. 134 00:09:31,470 --> 00:09:33,430 It's knackered, like. 135 00:09:38,950 --> 00:09:40,910 Get hold of the bastard! 136 00:09:42,590 --> 00:09:47,060 Shite! He'll murder me, he will. His favourite, that. 137 00:09:47,150 --> 00:09:49,710 He'll gan mad if that one's not in. 138 00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:53,230 What's he doin' in the fridge? He's not a bloody penguin. 139 00:09:53,310 --> 00:09:57,700 He'd be in the microwave if I had one. See ya, lads. 140 00:09:57,790 --> 00:10:00,310 - If I live. - See ya. Facing. 141 00:10:20,630 --> 00:10:23,230 - Oh, hello, pet. - Hello, Mother. 142 00:10:24,070 --> 00:10:26,630 Ah, you take after your granddad, you do. 143 00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:30,830 No words, just all dribble and puke. 144 00:10:30,910 --> 00:10:34,190 Never mind, your nana's here, pet. 145 00:10:34,270 --> 00:10:37,180 Your nana'll always be here for you. 146 00:10:37,270 --> 00:10:39,990 Shall I sing to you? 147 00:10:41,350 --> 00:10:43,550 Shall I sing, my little Sheara? 148 00:10:44,910 --> 00:10:50,460 if I should die 149 00:10:50,550 --> 00:10:52,750 150 00:10:54,430 --> 00:10:55,990 151 00:10:56,070 --> 00:10:57,790 Leave it. 152 00:10:57,870 --> 00:11:02,260 with a tear in my eye... 153 00:11:02,350 --> 00:11:04,390 Not all phone calls are bad. 154 00:11:04,470 --> 00:11:07,620 Clare, pet, I'd know if I'd won the bloody lottery. 155 00:11:07,710 --> 00:11:13,630 my true love to see... 156 00:11:13,710 --> 00:11:18,790 It'll be the Social... or the school... or the loan sharks. 157 00:11:18,870 --> 00:11:21,830 - Or Bridget. - Or your dad. 158 00:11:24,550 --> 00:11:30,870 my bonny hinny 159 00:11:30,950 --> 00:11:36,950 Bring him to me 160 00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:43,870 to my hinny 161 00:11:43,950 --> 00:11:48,580 that rough river to me 162 00:11:48,670 --> 00:11:51,140 Are you sure this fella's gonna buy this? 163 00:11:51,230 --> 00:11:53,620 - Why, aye. - Who is he? 164 00:11:53,710 --> 00:11:56,380 Ginga. He's made a mint out o' scrap. 165 00:11:56,470 --> 00:12:01,230 Oh, aye? And this'll be one of his branches nationwide, eh? 166 00:12:02,950 --> 00:12:04,510 Knock louder. 167 00:12:04,590 --> 00:12:07,150 I think he's getting deaf, old Ginga. 168 00:12:07,230 --> 00:12:11,780 Aye, well, tycoons cannot have everything. Hold this, then. 169 00:12:17,990 --> 00:12:19,870 Huh! 170 00:12:22,070 --> 00:12:25,220 You must be canny hot in that snorkel jacket, 171 00:12:25,310 --> 00:12:26,660 Harry Sewell's lad. 172 00:12:26,750 --> 00:12:29,420 - It's a bench coat. - A bent stoat? 173 00:12:29,510 --> 00:12:34,270 A bench coat. A trainin' jacket. Like footy managers wear. 174 00:12:34,350 --> 00:12:36,910 Fucking bandages, what are you talkin' about? 175 00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:39,430 We've - got - you - some - stuff. 176 00:12:39,510 --> 00:12:44,790 Jesus, I'm not deaf. I know! I've seen it. 177 00:12:44,870 --> 00:12:47,860 A knackered old fridge and a busted bog. 178 00:12:47,950 --> 00:12:51,710 Bit of superglue, be good as new. 179 00:12:51,790 --> 00:12:55,260 Thanks very much, lads. Nice of you to bring it round. 180 00:12:55,350 --> 00:12:57,420 Aye. 181 00:13:00,670 --> 00:13:02,070 Aye. 182 00:13:07,670 --> 00:13:09,870 We thought you might pay us, like. 183 00:13:14,270 --> 00:13:19,500 I've no money, lads. I'm what's known as livin' beyond the cash economy. 184 00:13:25,870 --> 00:13:28,510 All right, then, tell you what I'll do. 185 00:13:28,590 --> 00:13:30,740 I'll take the fridge off you 186 00:13:30,830 --> 00:13:33,950 in exchange for owt round here that you fancy. 187 00:13:36,350 --> 00:13:38,710 What a crackin' start that was. 188 00:13:38,790 --> 00:13:40,380 Sweatin' and heavin' all day. 189 00:13:40,470 --> 00:13:43,070 Carrying cart loads of crap all over Tyneside. 190 00:13:43,150 --> 00:13:46,060 And what do we get? A fucking cuckoo clock. 191 00:13:46,150 --> 00:13:49,190 Ha'way, a magpie cuckoo clock. 192 00:13:49,270 --> 00:13:51,020 Thank Christ for that, eh? 193 00:13:51,110 --> 00:13:54,150 Wouldn't wanna think we was wastin' our time, like. 194 00:13:54,230 --> 00:13:57,670 Jesus, could murder a tab, me. 195 00:14:01,550 --> 00:14:04,940 Ha'way, it's that hound. Here, boy, come to Sewell. 196 00:14:06,990 --> 00:14:10,780 - Must have been trailing us. - Following the stench of your coat! 197 00:14:10,870 --> 00:14:13,180 No, he just likes us, that's all. 198 00:14:13,270 --> 00:14:15,710 I think I'll call him... Rusty. 199 00:14:15,790 --> 00:14:20,070 He belongs to Matthew Brabin, you saw mad he is. 200 00:14:20,150 --> 00:14:23,300 - He scares his own ma shitless. - He's dead intelligent. 201 00:14:23,390 --> 00:14:27,230 Intelligent?! Let's see, let's test it out. 202 00:14:27,310 --> 00:14:28,980 - Now, smelly hound. - Rusty. 203 00:14:29,070 --> 00:14:31,140 Oh, aye. Rusty, you smelly hound. 204 00:14:31,230 --> 00:14:34,910 - What does a season ticket cost? - He cannot answer that! 205 00:14:34,990 --> 00:14:37,870 He could tap the number out with his feet. 206 00:14:37,950 --> 00:14:39,380 They're £500, man. 207 00:14:39,470 --> 00:14:42,940 He'd have nae bloody feet left. He knows the answer. 208 00:14:43,030 --> 00:14:47,420 He's too smart to wanna go about on stumps. Here, I'll show ya. 209 00:14:47,510 --> 00:14:49,470 All right, Rusty, listen. 210 00:14:49,550 --> 00:14:53,540 This is Gerry, the brains behind our mission to get Toon season tickets, 211 00:14:53,630 --> 00:14:56,150 which, as you well know, cost £500. 212 00:14:56,230 --> 00:15:01,100 So, tell us, how many pounds have we got so far, eh? Eh? 213 00:15:06,070 --> 00:15:07,900 Correct! 214 00:15:17,630 --> 00:15:20,940 From now on, Sewell, we don't waste a second. 215 00:15:21,030 --> 00:15:24,180 And from now on, leave the bright ideas to me, right? 216 00:15:24,270 --> 00:15:26,230 - Right. - Right. 217 00:15:29,190 --> 00:15:32,020 the road, just as they were... 218 00:15:32,110 --> 00:15:34,580 Right, our Gerry. Right, Sewell, hinny. 219 00:15:34,670 --> 00:15:36,660 What's up? 220 00:15:36,750 --> 00:15:38,580 Em... Mam's been on the phone. 221 00:15:38,670 --> 00:15:41,190 She's poorly so I'm takin' her round the doctors. 222 00:15:41,270 --> 00:15:44,260 Don't you worry, Gerry. Just me annual MOT. 223 00:15:46,030 --> 00:15:48,020 You not going to school? 224 00:15:48,110 --> 00:15:50,420 I have more periods than he does. 225 00:15:50,510 --> 00:15:54,350 - So what are you doing today? - We've got plans, like. 226 00:15:54,430 --> 00:15:55,940 They're up to something. 227 00:15:56,030 --> 00:16:00,470 I don't know what, but it's not helping old biddies across the road. 228 00:16:01,830 --> 00:16:04,790 Gerry, pet, look after Sheara for us. 229 00:16:06,790 --> 00:16:08,910 Usual fiver, like? 230 00:16:22,670 --> 00:16:25,340 231 00:16:25,430 --> 00:16:28,980 well, I don't need keys... 232 00:16:29,070 --> 00:16:31,030 Mind your car for ya? 233 00:16:32,750 --> 00:16:35,580 - Oh, for Christ's sake. - Better safe than sorry. 234 00:16:41,150 --> 00:16:44,060 Fucking Jesus! What do you want this early? 235 00:16:44,150 --> 00:16:45,900 To count our money. 236 00:16:45,990 --> 00:16:48,350 No counting till the first day of the season. 237 00:16:48,430 --> 00:16:50,500 That's tomorrow. 238 00:16:50,590 --> 00:16:53,470 they've assembled clones 239 00:16:53,550 --> 00:16:57,020 houses with the no go zones 240 00:16:57,110 --> 00:17:00,660 and the view is great 241 00:17:00,750 --> 00:17:04,270 housewives wailing... 242 00:17:07,750 --> 00:17:09,580 There's some pound coins there. 243 00:17:11,790 --> 00:17:14,540 244 00:17:14,630 --> 00:17:18,910 245 00:17:24,870 --> 00:17:27,910 wishing for more 246 00:17:27,990 --> 00:17:30,030 247 00:17:31,510 --> 00:17:37,270 248 00:17:39,270 --> 00:17:42,020 it's an adhesive bliss... 249 00:17:42,950 --> 00:17:44,910 Stop that dog! 250 00:17:46,270 --> 00:17:49,230 of the crack squad YTS 251 00:17:49,310 --> 00:17:53,380 like the SAS... 252 00:17:56,150 --> 00:17:59,750 Aye, three Gazza specials. One with not too much chilli. 253 00:17:59,830 --> 00:18:01,500 For the bairn, like. 254 00:18:01,590 --> 00:18:04,190 - Hiya, Gerry. All right? - All right, Gemma? 255 00:18:04,270 --> 00:18:07,740 Hey, Sewell, I haven't seen you for ages. You up to owt? 256 00:18:07,830 --> 00:18:10,390 Eee, bloody hell, you have been. 257 00:18:10,470 --> 00:18:13,830 That's not Sewell's man, Gemma, that's our Clare's. 258 00:18:13,910 --> 00:18:17,140 Oh, aye. Eeh, canny. She's got a rattle an' all. 259 00:18:17,230 --> 00:18:19,140 - What's she called? - Sheara. 260 00:18:19,230 --> 00:18:21,900 Not another Sheara, they're everywhere, man. 261 00:18:21,990 --> 00:18:23,820 I wish she was mine. 262 00:18:27,030 --> 00:18:30,580 D'youse know Zack? He's goalminder for Whitley Bay Warriors. 263 00:18:30,670 --> 00:18:32,950 - We're celebrating. - Celebrating? 264 00:18:33,030 --> 00:18:35,910 - Aye, look. - Eh, canny. 265 00:18:35,990 --> 00:18:37,340 Aye, canny. 266 00:18:37,430 --> 00:18:39,230 So when's the happy day, like? 267 00:18:39,310 --> 00:18:42,190 End of next year sometime. Soon as I'm 16. 268 00:18:42,270 --> 00:18:44,740 You're brilliant, looking after the bairn. 269 00:18:44,830 --> 00:18:49,380 I'd say you were a New Man, Sewell, but for that old coat. 270 00:18:49,470 --> 00:18:52,220 - Come on, Gemma. - See you later, lads. 271 00:18:52,310 --> 00:18:55,750 - Later. - Three Gazza specials. 272 00:18:59,150 --> 00:19:03,510 - Sewell, you dinnae still fancy her? - Do you not, like? 273 00:19:03,590 --> 00:19:06,150 Not when she's goin' out with a gorilla. 274 00:19:07,390 --> 00:19:09,750 - And the rest. - Eh? 275 00:19:09,830 --> 00:19:11,900 - I gave you a 20. - You never. 276 00:19:11,990 --> 00:19:13,790 - I did. - You didn't. 277 00:19:13,870 --> 00:19:15,220 He did. 278 00:19:15,310 --> 00:19:19,780 I dinnae see them that often, but I do know what they bloody look like. 279 00:19:34,310 --> 00:19:36,460 It's not right, man, bringing her here. 280 00:19:36,550 --> 00:19:40,780 We canna turn down a spot of babysitting. A fiver's a fiver. 281 00:19:40,870 --> 00:19:44,660 Aye, well... I got her this. 282 00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:47,390 Great! Give it her now, while she's crying. 283 00:19:47,470 --> 00:19:49,940 That's her trying to tell you she's thirsty. 284 00:19:50,030 --> 00:19:52,230 Here, babby, take a drink. 285 00:19:55,270 --> 00:19:58,390 Maybe she doesn't like Tango. I'll get a Vimto. 286 00:19:58,470 --> 00:20:00,830 Bairns love Vimto. 287 00:20:00,910 --> 00:20:02,900 She's not thirsty, Sewell, man. 288 00:20:02,990 --> 00:20:05,590 - Eh? - Jesus, man! Can you not smell it? 289 00:20:05,670 --> 00:20:07,180 Smell what? 290 00:20:08,830 --> 00:20:10,790 - Shit! - Ah, that. 291 00:20:10,870 --> 00:20:12,830 It's our Clare. 292 00:20:20,590 --> 00:20:24,300 Gangway, lads. And breathe through your mouths! 293 00:20:27,550 --> 00:20:31,150 - Take her, man, Sewell. - What's he doing? Who's this? 294 00:20:32,990 --> 00:20:36,350 Ugh! Get up wind, all o' ya. 295 00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:40,230 Sewell, man, rip some o' that off, quick! 296 00:20:51,710 --> 00:20:53,830 Mam, you all right? 297 00:20:53,910 --> 00:20:56,870 Clare says you're not good, like. 298 00:21:01,190 --> 00:21:03,100 Where's the telly? 299 00:21:03,190 --> 00:21:05,150 Dad, you bastard! 300 00:21:05,230 --> 00:21:08,300 Your bloody Auntie Maud, the old cow. 301 00:21:08,390 --> 00:21:11,670 Got a fucking gob on her like the Tyne Tunnel. 302 00:21:11,750 --> 00:21:14,350 What's he taken this time? 303 00:21:16,110 --> 00:21:18,070 Did he go into Bridget's room? 304 00:21:18,150 --> 00:21:21,510 You don't think I got this for nowt, do you? 305 00:21:24,110 --> 00:21:27,990 - I'll put the kettle on. - You'll have to buy one first. 306 00:21:31,670 --> 00:21:34,900 - Have you rang the Social? - What with? 307 00:21:38,270 --> 00:21:40,390 Oh, come 'ere, Gerry, man. 308 00:21:50,230 --> 00:21:52,870 You skive school, you. 309 00:21:52,950 --> 00:21:54,910 You nick all sorts. 310 00:21:54,990 --> 00:21:57,740 Drink all sorts. 311 00:21:57,830 --> 00:22:01,190 You smoke, I don't know what. 312 00:22:01,270 --> 00:22:05,980 You do nothing, you... except drive your poor mam mad. 313 00:22:08,030 --> 00:22:11,500 How that bastard ever produced a lad as good as you, 314 00:22:11,590 --> 00:22:13,550 I'll never know. 315 00:22:28,110 --> 00:22:30,550 316 00:22:31,830 --> 00:22:33,980 317 00:22:35,670 --> 00:22:38,580 318 00:22:39,670 --> 00:22:41,900 319 00:22:44,110 --> 00:22:46,180 I think it's important to... 320 00:22:46,270 --> 00:22:50,470 you know, treat it as... well, a fresh start. 321 00:22:50,550 --> 00:22:54,180 Clear the decks in your mind, and start again. 322 00:22:54,270 --> 00:22:56,910 Maureen, you're like a cracked record. 323 00:22:56,990 --> 00:23:00,270 You said that last time and the time before. 324 00:23:00,350 --> 00:23:02,150 He'll find us again. 325 00:23:02,230 --> 00:23:05,030 He's a monster, but he's not an idiot. 326 00:23:05,110 --> 00:23:06,620 Not here. 327 00:23:06,710 --> 00:23:09,990 You're wasted in social work. You should be a comedian. 328 00:23:10,070 --> 00:23:12,350 We're only trying to make things better. 329 00:23:12,430 --> 00:23:15,500 Aye, I know. I know you're doing your best. 330 00:23:15,590 --> 00:23:19,660 It's just... nothing ever changes, does it? 331 00:23:19,750 --> 00:23:21,390 Aye, it does. 332 00:23:21,470 --> 00:23:23,670 The houses get smaller. 333 00:23:23,750 --> 00:23:25,630 Aye. 334 00:23:25,710 --> 00:23:28,830 - So does the family. - No word from Bridget? 335 00:23:28,910 --> 00:23:33,300 There never will be now. Cos we canna tell people where we live. 336 00:23:37,950 --> 00:23:41,910 We are trying our best for you, Gerry. You do know that? 337 00:23:41,990 --> 00:23:45,950 Oh, talking of which, to go along with the fresh start, 338 00:23:46,030 --> 00:23:48,020 I've got a proposition for you. 339 00:23:48,110 --> 00:23:52,020 Maureen, I'm too young for you. You wouldn't last the weddin' night! 340 00:23:52,110 --> 00:23:54,630 No, it's just a little trade. 341 00:23:54,710 --> 00:23:57,590 You do something for me, I've got something for you. 342 00:23:57,670 --> 00:23:59,500 Something I know you'll like. 343 00:23:59,590 --> 00:24:03,710 Maureen, I'm not going to school. Purely no chance. 344 00:24:03,790 --> 00:24:08,660 Oh, listen, Gerry, if you go for, say, just two weeks? 345 00:24:08,750 --> 00:24:11,630 - Maureen, no. - Listen to her, Gerry. 346 00:24:11,710 --> 00:24:14,350 Mam, I'm not going. It's a hellhole. 347 00:24:14,430 --> 00:24:16,900 You get taught nowt and treated like shite! 348 00:24:16,990 --> 00:24:18,980 You say you get that everywhere. 349 00:24:19,070 --> 00:24:21,740 I don't have to dress like a prick. 350 00:24:21,830 --> 00:24:24,710 So you don't want to know what I've got. 351 00:24:24,790 --> 00:24:26,300 No, cos I'm not going. 352 00:24:26,390 --> 00:24:31,150 I bet you do. In fact, I bet you're there today. 353 00:24:31,230 --> 00:24:33,030 Dressed up like a prick. 354 00:24:33,110 --> 00:24:38,340 Two weeks! That's all you've got to do to get this... certain something. 355 00:24:38,430 --> 00:24:41,420 I don't care what you've got, Maureen. I'm not going. 356 00:24:41,510 --> 00:24:45,420 Watch me mouth - I am not going to school. 357 00:24:45,510 --> 00:24:49,950 And there's nowt you can do will make us change me mind. 358 00:24:50,030 --> 00:24:51,830 - Nowt? - Totally, nowt. 359 00:24:51,910 --> 00:24:55,700 Well, I never, Gerry McCarten turnin' down 360 00:24:55,790 --> 00:24:58,750 a pair of free tickets to the football. 361 00:25:03,630 --> 00:25:07,620 "Be innocent of the knowledge, dearest... chuck. 362 00:25:07,710 --> 00:25:11,470 "Till thou applaud the d-dead." 363 00:25:11,550 --> 00:25:13,140 "The deed." 364 00:25:13,230 --> 00:25:14,710 "The deed." 365 00:25:14,790 --> 00:25:16,860 "Come, ceiling light." 366 00:25:16,950 --> 00:25:18,910 "Sealing night." 367 00:25:18,990 --> 00:25:23,590 "Scarf up the tender eye of pitiful day. 368 00:25:23,670 --> 00:25:26,420 "And with thy bloody invincible hand..." 369 00:25:26,510 --> 00:25:29,110 "Bloody and invisible." 370 00:25:30,910 --> 00:25:34,790 "...cancel and tear to pieces that great bond 371 00:25:34,870 --> 00:25:36,860 "which keeps me pale. 372 00:25:36,950 --> 00:25:40,550 "Light chickens and the crow makes wing to the rocky..." 373 00:25:40,630 --> 00:25:42,750 McCarten, don't push me, all right? 374 00:25:43,510 --> 00:25:45,470 Can you not read? 375 00:25:45,550 --> 00:25:48,510 Maybe you're just lost without the pictures? 376 00:25:51,670 --> 00:25:56,430 Janine, you take over. McCarten, stick to comics, eh? 377 00:25:56,510 --> 00:25:59,790 "Night thickens and the crow makes wing to the rooky wood. 378 00:25:59,870 --> 00:26:02,910 "Good things of day begin to droop and drowse 379 00:26:02,990 --> 00:26:05,630 "whilst night's black agents to their prayers do rouse. 380 00:26:05,710 --> 00:26:07,860 "Thou marvels at my words..." 381 00:26:10,670 --> 00:26:12,630 Where's the other lad, then? 382 00:26:12,710 --> 00:26:14,300 I don't know. 383 00:26:14,390 --> 00:26:16,990 Ah, well, you want the same money, 384 00:26:17,070 --> 00:26:19,510 you've still got to plant them all. 385 00:26:19,590 --> 00:26:22,550 - Reeght? - Aye, reeght. 386 00:26:30,350 --> 00:26:31,830 Stay, Rusty. 387 00:26:50,750 --> 00:26:52,710 Same shite as yesterday. 388 00:26:52,790 --> 00:26:54,140 Later. 389 00:26:54,230 --> 00:26:55,790 No gravy, ta. 390 00:26:55,870 --> 00:26:57,940 - You what? - I don't want gravy. 391 00:26:58,030 --> 00:27:01,790 - You don't want any gravy?! - I don't want any gravy. 392 00:27:10,830 --> 00:27:13,500 - There you are. - I'm not eatin' that. 393 00:27:13,590 --> 00:27:14,990 What's up now? 394 00:27:15,070 --> 00:27:17,460 McCarten, hurry up. You're holding everything up. 395 00:27:17,550 --> 00:27:21,990 - Did you see what she did? - Don't argue, just get on with it! 396 00:27:24,190 --> 00:27:26,830 Bloody waste of space, that one. 397 00:27:33,430 --> 00:27:37,470 'I dunno if I can stand it, Sewell. Caird's being a bastard.' 398 00:27:37,550 --> 00:27:39,860 We'd get to see the Toon, but I don't know. 399 00:27:39,950 --> 00:27:41,430 It's only a fortnight. 400 00:27:41,510 --> 00:27:43,660 I just wanna chin him. 401 00:27:43,750 --> 00:27:47,110 Chin him in a fortnight. 402 00:27:47,190 --> 00:27:50,310 - What's up with you? - It's only September, man! 403 00:27:50,390 --> 00:27:53,220 Well, that's our motto, like. Be prepared. 404 00:27:53,310 --> 00:27:55,270 Cheeky buggers. 405 00:27:57,950 --> 00:28:00,260 One pound for the guy! 406 00:28:00,350 --> 00:28:03,550 First times... First times... 407 00:28:04,430 --> 00:28:05,990 Gemma? 408 00:28:06,070 --> 00:28:08,900 - First time you? - Did the lottery, miss. 409 00:28:08,990 --> 00:28:12,300 OK, first time you did the lottery. Describe what happened. 410 00:28:12,390 --> 00:28:15,590 And use a simile. Remember what a simile is? 411 00:28:15,670 --> 00:28:17,630 Saying it's is like something else. 412 00:28:17,710 --> 00:28:20,910 It was like... Well, it was like a disaster, miss. 413 00:28:20,990 --> 00:28:22,270 A disaster?! 414 00:28:22,350 --> 00:28:27,030 We decided to use all six of our birthdays as the numbers. 415 00:28:27,110 --> 00:28:30,990 Me dad did the ticket. We all tuned in and it started. 416 00:28:31,070 --> 00:28:34,540 You know, with that gadgie sayin' "Activate the balls". 417 00:28:34,630 --> 00:28:37,270 Yes, hilarious. Go on, Gemma. 418 00:28:37,350 --> 00:28:40,340 Well, when the numbers come up, we'd won. 419 00:28:40,430 --> 00:28:44,420 We're all jumpin' up and down, goin' mad... except me dad. 420 00:28:44,510 --> 00:28:46,020 Why not? 421 00:28:46,110 --> 00:28:50,420 He'd forgotten our birthdays, miss. Got to the shop and gone brain dead. 422 00:28:50,510 --> 00:28:54,660 Forgot our Dean's birthday, my birthday and me mam's birthday. 423 00:28:54,750 --> 00:28:58,790 Oh, dear. So how did that feel? And use a simile. 424 00:28:58,870 --> 00:29:02,180 When you'd thought you'd won and then you realised 425 00:29:02,270 --> 00:29:05,870 your father used different numbers, how did that feel? 426 00:29:05,950 --> 00:29:08,340 What did it feel like? 427 00:29:09,590 --> 00:29:12,150 Like a fucking great kick in the cunt. 428 00:29:13,830 --> 00:29:17,110 Thank you, Gerry. We don't need quite such vivid comparisons. 429 00:29:17,190 --> 00:29:19,150 He's right, miss. Good similarity. 430 00:29:19,230 --> 00:29:20,740 What about your father? 431 00:29:20,830 --> 00:29:24,060 His perspective must have been very different to yours, yeah? 432 00:29:24,150 --> 00:29:27,270 Nobody knows, miss. He's under the patio. 433 00:29:27,350 --> 00:29:31,310 OK. Anyone else? First times? 434 00:29:31,390 --> 00:29:33,670 Thank you, Malcolm. 435 00:29:33,750 --> 00:29:36,820 We've already had your all too graphic recollection 436 00:29:36,910 --> 00:29:39,510 of the morning after your first vindaloo. 437 00:29:44,230 --> 00:29:50,230 Gerry, what about you? You must have an experience you can share with us? 438 00:29:50,830 --> 00:29:53,580 Oh, surely. All the things you get up to? 439 00:29:55,070 --> 00:29:59,300 Come on, anything. What do you enjoy? What's your real passion? 440 00:29:59,390 --> 00:30:02,670 - Footy, miss. He's footy mad. - Oh, yeah. That's right. 441 00:30:02,750 --> 00:30:05,870 A regular member of the Toon army, aren't you, Gerry? 442 00:30:05,950 --> 00:30:08,620 Not any more, miss. He canna get in now. 443 00:30:08,710 --> 00:30:10,670 But you used to go, didn't you? 444 00:30:10,750 --> 00:30:12,980 Course I did, miss. 445 00:30:13,070 --> 00:30:16,510 Well... Right, what about the first time you went to football? 446 00:30:16,590 --> 00:30:19,790 I bet that was an experience. Tell us about that. 447 00:30:19,870 --> 00:30:22,590 Who did you go with? Your dad? 448 00:30:24,310 --> 00:30:26,510 Ha'way, Gerry. Tell us. 449 00:30:29,230 --> 00:30:31,620 I canna remember, miss. 450 00:30:31,710 --> 00:30:34,620 I was small. Dead small, you know. 451 00:30:34,710 --> 00:30:36,190 Try, Gerry. 452 00:30:36,270 --> 00:30:39,630 I was maybes five or six, I canna remember exactly. 453 00:30:39,710 --> 00:30:44,070 There was loads of people. Dead noisy, but havin' a laugh. 454 00:30:44,150 --> 00:30:46,950 Well, we won, I think. 455 00:30:48,750 --> 00:30:50,980 Go on. What else do you remember? 456 00:30:51,070 --> 00:30:54,140 Me father's coat. I remember me father's coat. 457 00:30:54,230 --> 00:30:57,460 It were dead thick and warm, like a snorkel jacket. 458 00:30:57,550 --> 00:31:00,860 I was cold, so me father gave us his jacket. 459 00:31:00,950 --> 00:31:05,070 I put it on reeght round me face. I'd never been so warm. 460 00:31:05,150 --> 00:31:08,540 The wind was whistling round the ground. It was rainin'. 461 00:31:08,630 --> 00:31:10,830 Didn't bother me, I was cushty. 462 00:31:10,910 --> 00:31:13,790 Me father kept lookin' down checkin' on me. 463 00:31:13,870 --> 00:31:15,860 He was shiverin' in his jumper. 464 00:31:15,950 --> 00:31:18,260 He didn't mind, as long as I was warm. 465 00:31:18,350 --> 00:31:20,310 That's good of him. 466 00:31:20,390 --> 00:31:24,700 At half-time, he bought us both two huge cup, steamin' cup of teas. 467 00:31:24,790 --> 00:31:26,700 We drank them together. 468 00:31:26,790 --> 00:31:30,700 - What was the tea like? - Belter. Purely belter. 469 00:31:30,790 --> 00:31:33,350 Two sugars, dead milky, like. 470 00:31:33,430 --> 00:31:36,660 Dunno about similes, miss. It were just like... like... 471 00:31:36,750 --> 00:31:39,270 like the best cup of tea ever. 472 00:31:39,350 --> 00:31:42,710 After the whistle, we stayed till everyone else had gone. 473 00:31:42,790 --> 00:31:45,180 We walked through a park to get a bus. 474 00:31:45,270 --> 00:31:47,990 It was gettin' dark about five. 475 00:31:48,070 --> 00:31:52,060 There was a bird singin' in a tree. I dunno what sort. 476 00:31:52,150 --> 00:31:54,380 Maybes one of them thrushes. 477 00:31:54,470 --> 00:31:59,070 Whatever it was, it was singin' dead loud just as it were gettin' dark. 478 00:32:04,990 --> 00:32:06,950 It was mint, man. 479 00:32:14,190 --> 00:32:16,020 And what about your father? 480 00:32:16,110 --> 00:32:18,150 His perspective on the same experience 481 00:32:18,230 --> 00:32:19,870 must have been very different. 482 00:32:19,950 --> 00:32:22,470 Should think so. He's a fucking piss-head. 483 00:32:23,990 --> 00:32:26,820 OK. Walk slowly! 484 00:32:26,910 --> 00:32:29,580 No runnin' in the corridor, please. 485 00:32:45,310 --> 00:32:47,270 So where are we goin'? 486 00:32:47,350 --> 00:32:51,340 We'll do CandA's, Smith's, Boots, Marks and Spark's... 487 00:32:51,430 --> 00:32:52,940 Everything's A Pound. 488 00:32:53,030 --> 00:32:54,940 Why aye... Everything's A Pound! 489 00:32:55,030 --> 00:32:56,860 What's funny about that, like? 490 00:32:56,950 --> 00:33:00,830 Sewell, we're goin' nickin', nickin' things to sell, for proper money. 491 00:33:00,910 --> 00:33:04,900 - Aye, I know that. - So how much do you think we'll get 492 00:33:04,990 --> 00:33:08,870 - for stuff from a shop like that? - Depends on what it's worth. 493 00:33:08,950 --> 00:33:12,580 How much do you think it's worth from Everything's A Pound? 494 00:33:12,670 --> 00:33:15,340 I don't know. They've got some good gear. 495 00:33:15,430 --> 00:33:19,220 The most expensive thing, how much do you think that's worth? 496 00:33:19,310 --> 00:33:22,270 - Or the cheapest? - One at a time! 497 00:33:22,350 --> 00:33:24,710 - It's the same question! - Eh? 498 00:33:24,790 --> 00:33:28,310 I'll give you a clue. The shop's called Everything's A something. 499 00:33:28,390 --> 00:33:30,990 I know what the bloody shop's called, Gerry. 500 00:33:31,070 --> 00:33:35,700 Well, then. Not, Everything's A Tenner, or A Different Price, 501 00:33:35,790 --> 00:33:37,300 Everything's A Pound! 502 00:33:37,390 --> 00:33:41,940 So how much is the dearest and the cheapest thing in there? 503 00:33:42,030 --> 00:33:45,100 - So which do you want? - Both, man! 504 00:33:45,190 --> 00:33:49,580 A pound! A fucking pound! Everything is a fucking pound! 505 00:33:49,670 --> 00:33:54,030 I know, I know that. Jesus, I'm not stupid, man. 506 00:33:55,550 --> 00:33:58,220 All right, Einstein. You clear on the plan? 507 00:33:58,310 --> 00:34:01,350 While they're busy watching me, doing me decoy bit, 508 00:34:01,430 --> 00:34:04,070 filling me pockets... you fill yours. 509 00:34:04,150 --> 00:34:05,500 Properly. 510 00:34:05,590 --> 00:34:08,790 Right, aye. Cos they won't see me, cos I'm blind. 511 00:34:08,870 --> 00:34:12,020 Of course they'll see you. They just won't suspect you. 512 00:34:12,110 --> 00:34:15,340 - Why is that like? - Cos you're blind! Cos you're blind! 513 00:34:15,430 --> 00:34:17,630 Ah, right, I see. 514 00:34:17,710 --> 00:34:19,860 Joke, man, Gerry, it were a jo... 515 00:35:12,430 --> 00:35:15,420 You're meant to be blind, man, you pillock. 516 00:35:57,230 --> 00:35:58,510 Can I help you? 517 00:35:58,590 --> 00:36:00,550 No, thanks. Just browsin'. 518 00:36:01,790 --> 00:36:03,750 That's an unusual guide dog. 519 00:36:03,830 --> 00:36:07,510 - Where was he trained? - Erm... in Wickham. 520 00:36:07,590 --> 00:36:10,230 Oh, I know Wickham. Whereabouts? 521 00:36:10,310 --> 00:36:12,670 Erm... in the woods up there, you know. 522 00:36:12,750 --> 00:36:14,950 - Woods? - Aye. 523 00:36:15,030 --> 00:36:16,860 An' all them fields round about. 524 00:36:16,950 --> 00:36:20,630 - Strange. - Why's that, like? 525 00:36:20,710 --> 00:36:26,070 Well, they usually train guide dogs in towns and cities, 526 00:36:26,150 --> 00:36:28,110 on streets, 527 00:36:28,190 --> 00:36:30,580 where people live. 528 00:36:30,670 --> 00:36:34,660 Not this one, cos I live in a field, like. 529 00:36:34,750 --> 00:36:36,470 You live in a field? 530 00:36:36,550 --> 00:36:40,230 Aye, woods, like. Woods, trees, you know. 531 00:36:40,310 --> 00:36:42,430 Out in the wilds, like. 532 00:36:42,510 --> 00:36:45,660 - Ah, whereabouts? - You wouldn't know it. 533 00:36:45,750 --> 00:36:48,030 I live miles from anywhere... 534 00:36:48,110 --> 00:36:51,740 wi' ponies and huskies, them Newfoundland dogs an' all, 535 00:36:51,830 --> 00:36:53,790 wi' the webbed feet. 536 00:36:54,390 --> 00:36:56,670 It snows most o' the year. 537 00:36:57,790 --> 00:36:59,860 Big castles. 538 00:37:03,670 --> 00:37:07,030 - Browsing, you say? - Aye, just browsin'. 539 00:37:07,110 --> 00:37:10,100 - Just browsing? - Aye. Not deaf, are ye? 540 00:37:10,190 --> 00:37:13,580 No, I'm not deaf, and you're not blind. 541 00:37:20,350 --> 00:37:22,310 Stop! 542 00:37:47,630 --> 00:37:50,230 Here, youse two are top set, aren't you? 543 00:37:50,310 --> 00:37:52,540 D'you wanna buy some books? 544 00:37:52,630 --> 00:37:55,700 - No, thanks. - Take a look first, man. 545 00:37:55,790 --> 00:37:59,100 - Beauty, innit? - We don't do Spanish here. 546 00:37:59,190 --> 00:38:01,230 So? 547 00:38:01,310 --> 00:38:03,270 Why would I want a Spanish dictionary? 548 00:38:03,350 --> 00:38:05,630 You might go to Spain for your holidays. 549 00:38:05,710 --> 00:38:10,070 How are you supposed to shag the Diego lads without the lingo? 550 00:38:11,670 --> 00:38:15,190 How about this, then? A hardback, a classic. 551 00:38:15,270 --> 00:38:17,470 See, it even says "Everyman's Classic - 552 00:38:17,550 --> 00:38:19,270 "A Sportsman's Notebook." 553 00:38:19,350 --> 00:38:22,630 - What's it about? - Footy. Keegan wrote it. 554 00:38:22,710 --> 00:38:25,590 Says here it's by Ivan Turgenev. 555 00:38:25,670 --> 00:38:28,870 Helped him out. He couldn't do everything, our Kev. 556 00:38:28,950 --> 00:38:30,990 Ivan helped him, like. 557 00:38:31,070 --> 00:38:35,270 You know Ivan Turkeyoff? Canny player. Looks like a fish. 558 00:38:35,350 --> 00:38:37,950 - How much? - About £800,000, from Dynamo Kiev. 559 00:38:38,030 --> 00:38:39,750 For the book. 560 00:38:39,830 --> 00:38:43,950 McCarten! What are you playin' at? You're supposed to be in the gym! 561 00:38:44,030 --> 00:38:47,340 - I've got no decent kit! - No decent kit, sir. 562 00:38:47,430 --> 00:38:49,420 That makes two of us then. 563 00:38:59,750 --> 00:39:03,790 You see, McCarten. These kids, here, 564 00:39:03,870 --> 00:39:07,750 good kids who come in every day for years and years, 565 00:39:07,830 --> 00:39:10,550 sometimes going out the far end wi' nothin'. 566 00:39:10,630 --> 00:39:14,830 You turn up for a fortnight, and what do you get? 567 00:39:14,910 --> 00:39:17,030 A bloody present! 568 00:39:17,110 --> 00:39:19,580 Aye, I've heard all about it. 569 00:39:21,390 --> 00:39:25,020 All these kids, here. They come here to get educated. 570 00:39:25,110 --> 00:39:29,900 But you! You come here to get football tickets. 571 00:39:29,990 --> 00:39:33,220 You know how that makes me feel, McCarten? 572 00:39:33,310 --> 00:39:36,350 Fuckin' sick. That's what. 573 00:39:36,430 --> 00:39:40,500 There's only one thing I can do to make myself feel better. 574 00:39:40,590 --> 00:39:42,980 And that's to make this fuckin' fortnight 575 00:39:43,070 --> 00:39:45,590 a fuckin' misery for you. 576 00:39:46,670 --> 00:39:48,710 Stop there till the bell. 577 00:39:50,390 --> 00:39:54,180 Come on, you're chasing the ball round like a flock o' sheep! 578 00:39:54,270 --> 00:39:56,740 Let's see some positional play. Two up... 579 00:39:56,830 --> 00:39:58,870 580 00:39:58,950 --> 00:40:01,780 road just as they were stannin' 581 00:40:01,870 --> 00:40:03,860 582 00:40:03,950 --> 00:40:05,350 583 00:40:05,430 --> 00:40:07,710 the Scotswood Road 584 00:40:07,790 --> 00:40:10,230 585 00:40:10,310 --> 00:40:14,590 Gerry, man, where you going? It's the end of the song. 586 00:40:14,670 --> 00:40:18,300 We always do the house at the end of the song. 587 00:40:18,390 --> 00:40:20,750 Not tonight, Sewell, man. 588 00:40:38,630 --> 00:40:40,750 Stop that hummin', man. 589 00:40:40,830 --> 00:40:44,110 I canna help it. Whenever I'm buzzin', I start hummin'. 590 00:40:44,190 --> 00:40:47,420 Ha'way, a vid in the bedroom, they're well loaded. 591 00:40:51,510 --> 00:40:55,390 Hey, look at this tackle. Lily of the Valley. 592 00:40:55,470 --> 00:40:58,270 Lasses will be all ours with this gear on. 593 00:40:58,350 --> 00:41:01,390 They won't. It's air freshener, you don't spray that on. 594 00:41:01,470 --> 00:41:03,030 - Aye, you can. - No. 595 00:41:03,110 --> 00:41:06,150 It's for when you've been, to clear the air. 596 00:41:06,230 --> 00:41:07,740 What you on about? 597 00:41:07,830 --> 00:41:12,060 The lasses will think you've just done a shite with that on. 598 00:41:12,150 --> 00:41:15,670 Don't. You don't break into a house to nick air freshener. 599 00:41:15,750 --> 00:41:19,190 You do livin' wi' my dad. This is gold dust. 600 00:41:19,270 --> 00:41:21,230 Ha'way, let's get downstairs. 601 00:41:28,470 --> 00:41:32,540 Look at this. They don't even have to wash their dishes. 602 00:41:32,630 --> 00:41:36,620 And look, a coffee maker, a toaster, a microwave. 603 00:41:36,710 --> 00:41:40,020 Jesus, don't these bastards do anything for themselves? 604 00:41:40,110 --> 00:41:44,150 Ha'way, Sewell, we'll have that microwave and something for dinner. 605 00:41:45,630 --> 00:41:48,150 That'll be better for our money tin. 606 00:41:51,510 --> 00:41:55,500 You always say never again and we always end up going. 607 00:41:55,590 --> 00:41:59,430 - Whenever her ladyship calls. - Oh, not that again, pet... 608 00:42:03,190 --> 00:42:07,030 Who'd fancy a tart like that, with her tongue and tits hangin' out? 609 00:42:07,110 --> 00:42:08,780 Denise, I don't fancy her! 610 00:42:08,870 --> 00:42:12,660 Oh?! You spend a lot of time looking at her tits... 611 00:42:14,790 --> 00:42:18,750 Why would I? When my wife's got the top tits on Tyneside? 612 00:42:18,830 --> 00:42:20,660 - Honest? - Uh-huh. 613 00:42:20,750 --> 00:42:22,870 Are you gonna tell them that? 614 00:42:22,950 --> 00:42:26,790 Come on, then. Ha'way there, me beauties. 615 00:42:31,830 --> 00:42:33,820 What the hell was that? 616 00:42:34,910 --> 00:42:36,390 Run for it! 617 00:42:38,710 --> 00:42:40,140 Fuck it! 618 00:42:42,910 --> 00:42:45,980 Run, man! She's at the friggin' door! 619 00:42:46,070 --> 00:42:48,870 Paul! Where are you, man? Paul! 620 00:42:48,950 --> 00:42:50,910 Cover your face, man! 621 00:43:01,150 --> 00:43:04,060 Come here, you bastards! Paul! 622 00:43:30,470 --> 00:43:32,430 - Hello, lads. - Hiya. 623 00:43:54,430 --> 00:43:56,150 Tickets, please. 624 00:43:56,230 --> 00:43:58,590 Two and a dog to the football ground. 625 00:43:58,670 --> 00:44:01,660 Here you go, son. 626 00:44:01,750 --> 00:44:04,420 - Cheers, now. - Thanks. 627 00:44:07,870 --> 00:44:10,100 Ha'way, man. I got them for free. 628 00:44:10,190 --> 00:44:12,750 I was conned. How was I supposed to know? 629 00:44:12,830 --> 00:44:16,820 Well, I don't know, do I? You're meant to be the brains. 630 00:44:16,910 --> 00:44:18,580 I can't believe it. 631 00:44:18,670 --> 00:44:22,430 She knows nothing about football, Maureen, the old trout. 632 00:44:22,510 --> 00:44:25,500 Free tickets, she said. She didn't say where for. 633 00:44:25,590 --> 00:44:27,870 We're not going there to see them. 634 00:44:27,950 --> 00:44:29,860 We're going to sell our tickets. 635 00:44:29,950 --> 00:44:32,780 We'll get good money for these, an' all. 636 00:44:32,870 --> 00:44:34,990 All towards tickets we friggin' want. 637 00:44:35,070 --> 00:44:36,710 I just can't believe... 638 00:44:36,790 --> 00:44:39,230 WE'RE going to Sunderland. 639 00:44:43,430 --> 00:44:46,710 Ha'way, Sewell, man. Stadium of Light. 640 00:44:46,790 --> 00:44:48,860 Stadium of Shite, you mean. 641 00:44:48,950 --> 00:44:51,910 We're in the heart of enemy territory now. 642 00:44:51,990 --> 00:44:55,700 - Not a word from now on. - Man alive! 643 00:44:55,790 --> 00:44:56,860 - See? - What?! 644 00:44:56,950 --> 00:44:58,180 You speak pure Geordie. 645 00:44:58,270 --> 00:45:00,420 Open your mouth again and you're dead. 646 00:45:00,510 --> 00:45:02,180 They'll rip you to shreds. 647 00:45:02,270 --> 00:45:05,790 And afterwards, we'll find a few scraps of your bench coat 648 00:45:05,870 --> 00:45:07,830 blowing along Roker beach, OK? 649 00:45:11,990 --> 00:45:14,740 Tickets. Want a ticket? Want a ticket? 650 00:45:14,830 --> 00:45:17,900 Shall we just gan in and watch them? 651 00:45:17,990 --> 00:45:21,430 - Watch Sunderland?! - We're not gonna sell them now. 652 00:45:21,510 --> 00:45:23,740 - Fuck off home. - They've already got them. 653 00:45:34,870 --> 00:45:38,780 I suppose. Nowt better to do, like. 654 00:45:40,590 --> 00:45:41,940 Stay, Rusty. 655 00:45:42,030 --> 00:45:44,390 We'll be back at a quarter to five. 656 00:45:44,470 --> 00:45:46,990 Dogs canna tell the time, man. 657 00:46:23,950 --> 00:46:25,510 Not bad, eh? 658 00:46:25,590 --> 00:46:30,380 Not a patch on St James's, like, but, aye, so-so. 659 00:46:36,750 --> 00:46:39,500 clap your hands 660 00:46:39,590 --> 00:46:42,110 hate Newcastle 661 00:46:42,190 --> 00:46:44,230 clap your hands. 662 00:46:44,310 --> 00:46:46,910 yippie, yippie-life 663 00:46:46,990 --> 00:46:50,060 yippie, yippie-life 664 00:46:50,150 --> 00:46:52,710 yippie, life, yippie 665 00:46:52,790 --> 00:46:54,860 666 00:47:01,110 --> 00:47:03,630 This is it, Sewell, me old mate. 667 00:47:03,710 --> 00:47:06,430 Next season this'll be us at St James's. 668 00:47:06,510 --> 00:47:11,300 The football will be better, but you still get a sense of it here. 669 00:47:11,390 --> 00:47:14,140 I counted the jar again this mornin', Sewell. 670 00:47:14,230 --> 00:47:17,190 We're almost there, son. We're almost there. 671 00:47:25,510 --> 00:47:28,470 - Tell us that thing again. - What thing? 672 00:47:28,550 --> 00:47:31,020 When your da took you to St James's. 673 00:47:31,110 --> 00:47:35,150 - Oh, that. Why, man? - Nae reason, I just like it. 674 00:47:36,230 --> 00:47:38,060 Why, it were years ago. 675 00:47:38,150 --> 00:47:41,860 In them days anyone could go. You didn't have to be loaded. 676 00:47:41,950 --> 00:47:44,550 You just paid at the gate - stood anywhere. 677 00:47:44,630 --> 00:47:48,590 It were dead cold - brass monkeys - I remember that. 678 00:47:48,670 --> 00:47:53,300 Me da gave us his jacket even though it meant he were cold. 679 00:47:53,390 --> 00:47:56,190 He kept looking to see if I were all right. 680 00:47:56,270 --> 00:47:58,940 He were freezing his bollocks off in a jumper. 681 00:47:59,030 --> 00:48:02,150 He didn't mind as long as I was warm. 682 00:48:05,950 --> 00:48:10,500 At half-time he bought us hot tea. Two sugars, dead milky. 683 00:48:10,590 --> 00:48:13,150 Better than this one, different class. 684 00:48:13,230 --> 00:48:16,540 It were the best cup o' tea I've ever had. 685 00:48:16,630 --> 00:48:18,620 Afterwards we stayed put a while. 686 00:48:18,710 --> 00:48:21,510 Stood in the empty ground, just me and him. 687 00:48:21,590 --> 00:48:23,500 We were in nae hurry. 688 00:48:23,590 --> 00:48:26,900 Then we went for a walk through the park. 689 00:48:26,990 --> 00:48:31,270 There was a bird singin' in a tree. Dead loud, like. I remember that. 690 00:48:31,350 --> 00:48:33,820 Then we went home. That was it. 691 00:48:41,470 --> 00:48:43,990 Was it the best day of your life? 692 00:48:44,070 --> 00:48:46,140 Why, I dunno yet, do I? 693 00:48:47,830 --> 00:48:49,900 - Sewell, man. - Aye? 694 00:48:49,990 --> 00:48:53,460 This is me first football match. I've never been before. 695 00:48:53,550 --> 00:48:59,070 - Never even seen the Toon play. - I know that, you dozy get. 696 00:49:23,350 --> 00:49:24,700 Mam? 697 00:50:06,750 --> 00:50:08,340 Bridge? 698 00:50:13,750 --> 00:50:16,710 Ha'way, Bridge, I know it's you, man, sis. 699 00:50:22,910 --> 00:50:24,420 All right, Gerry. 700 00:50:24,510 --> 00:50:28,820 Come on in, Son. Come and say hello to your ol' man, eh? 701 00:50:36,790 --> 00:50:40,100 You b... Those are hers. And that was mine. 702 00:50:40,190 --> 00:50:43,710 Grow up, son. Besides, all them years I fed and clothed you. 703 00:50:43,790 --> 00:50:47,630 All them times I helped you out. You fuckin' owe us, Son. 704 00:50:47,710 --> 00:50:49,140 You cannot do this. 705 00:50:49,230 --> 00:50:51,140 You gonna stop us? 706 00:50:51,230 --> 00:50:53,830 Don't be a prick all your life. 707 00:50:53,910 --> 00:50:58,060 I mean, you're no bigger now than the last time I decked you. 708 00:51:02,390 --> 00:51:03,980 How's your mam? 709 00:51:06,150 --> 00:51:08,380 I still love her. You know that. 710 00:51:08,470 --> 00:51:12,700 I saw her lip last time you came. Must have been some kiss. 711 00:51:12,790 --> 00:51:15,830 You might not like this, she still loves me. 712 00:51:15,910 --> 00:51:17,900 She does. I can tell. 713 00:51:17,990 --> 00:51:21,110 I'll tell you summat else, we'll get back together. 714 00:51:21,190 --> 00:51:23,500 Back like before. 715 00:51:28,150 --> 00:51:29,500 Where's Bridge? 716 00:51:31,230 --> 00:51:33,190 How did you find us? 717 00:51:33,270 --> 00:51:36,980 See what I mean. You'll never guess, Son. Go on. Guess. 718 00:51:37,070 --> 00:51:40,030 What do I do, Gerry, Son? 719 00:51:40,790 --> 00:51:42,750 What's me job, man? 720 00:51:43,830 --> 00:51:45,390 The bins. 721 00:51:45,470 --> 00:51:47,670 The bins. 722 00:51:50,390 --> 00:51:52,670 You moved to my patch, you pillocks. 723 00:51:52,750 --> 00:51:56,270 How much easier can she make it? She must want us back! 724 00:51:56,350 --> 00:51:58,020 You bastard! 725 00:52:00,230 --> 00:52:02,980 - Happy Christmas, Kyoko - Happy Christmas, Julian 726 00:52:03,070 --> 00:52:05,380 727 00:52:07,510 --> 00:52:09,630 728 00:52:12,150 --> 00:52:14,750 729 00:52:16,510 --> 00:52:19,150 730 00:52:21,230 --> 00:52:23,750 731 00:52:25,790 --> 00:52:28,670 732 00:52:30,550 --> 00:52:33,380 733 00:52:35,190 --> 00:52:37,860 734 00:52:39,830 --> 00:52:43,950 735 00:52:44,030 --> 00:52:49,060 736 00:52:49,150 --> 00:52:50,500 737 00:52:50,590 --> 00:52:52,710 Let's hope it's a good one. 738 00:52:52,790 --> 00:52:54,140 Absolutely. 739 00:52:54,230 --> 00:52:56,790 Without any fear. 740 00:52:58,550 --> 00:53:01,270 this is Christmas... 741 00:53:01,350 --> 00:53:04,310 Gerry, pet, be an angel and shut them curtains. 742 00:53:07,270 --> 00:53:10,900 So that's what you're sayin'? You fell down the stairs? 743 00:53:13,390 --> 00:53:16,540 - Aye. - Hmm, it's hard to buy, that. 744 00:53:16,630 --> 00:53:18,140 How's that, like? 745 00:53:18,230 --> 00:53:21,430 Well, seein' there weren't any stairs, like. 746 00:53:21,510 --> 00:53:24,390 I don't understand. You could get him this time. 747 00:53:24,470 --> 00:53:27,910 - Get a court order. - It's last rites he wants. 748 00:53:27,990 --> 00:53:30,630 Well, I don't think we could arrange that. 749 00:53:30,710 --> 00:53:33,780 I dunno, you managed to mix up Newcastle and Sunderland. 750 00:53:33,870 --> 00:53:37,230 You could manage anything. 751 00:53:37,310 --> 00:53:40,830 752 00:53:40,910 --> 00:53:43,630 753 00:53:45,470 --> 00:53:49,460 it's a good one... 754 00:53:51,190 --> 00:53:55,500 Aye, I know it's not the Ritz. But it's cushty with you here. 755 00:53:55,590 --> 00:53:58,060 Just belter to have a place to ourselves. 756 00:53:58,150 --> 00:54:00,220 Just you and me, you know. 757 00:54:00,310 --> 00:54:03,460 Aye, just you and me... 758 00:54:03,550 --> 00:54:06,940 - and Rusty. - Rusty'll be nae bother, man. 759 00:54:07,030 --> 00:54:11,420 You know that mad kid I told you about who was lookin' for his dog? 760 00:54:11,510 --> 00:54:15,870 Apparently he's askin' about, lookin' everywhere. He's mad. 761 00:54:15,950 --> 00:54:18,750 So would I be if somebody nicked me hound. 762 00:54:18,830 --> 00:54:21,740 I don't think it was nicked. He just lost it. 763 00:54:21,830 --> 00:54:24,820 Aye, like you lost that Zak fellow, eh? 764 00:54:24,910 --> 00:54:27,060 Aye, like that. 765 00:54:27,150 --> 00:54:29,220 You have lost him, haven't you? 766 00:54:29,310 --> 00:54:31,030 Haven't you, Gemma? 767 00:54:31,110 --> 00:54:34,070 Aye, he's gone for good, Zak has. History. 768 00:54:34,150 --> 00:54:36,380 I can't be doin' with tossers, me. 769 00:54:36,470 --> 00:54:38,220 Give us a kiss, then. 770 00:54:54,070 --> 00:54:55,470 What? 771 00:54:55,550 --> 00:54:58,350 Nowt. Hey, I got you a Christmas present. 772 00:54:58,430 --> 00:55:00,470 Oh, Sewell, you shouldn't have. 773 00:55:00,550 --> 00:55:02,750 It's only small, like. 774 00:55:02,830 --> 00:55:05,220 But it's gettin' bigger all the time. 775 00:55:09,670 --> 00:55:11,310 You said it. 776 00:55:11,390 --> 00:55:14,670 Hey, a cock's not just for Christmas, it's for life. 777 00:55:14,750 --> 00:55:17,030 I wouldn't mind that, Gemma, pet. 778 00:55:17,110 --> 00:55:20,260 Are you gonna get out of that bench coat? 779 00:55:20,350 --> 00:55:22,100 Not if I needn't. 780 00:55:22,190 --> 00:55:26,070 Sleep in heavenly peace 781 00:55:26,150 --> 00:55:30,750 jingle all the way 782 00:55:30,830 --> 00:55:34,820 Newcastle win away... 783 00:55:34,910 --> 00:55:36,390 There you go. 784 00:55:36,470 --> 00:55:38,910 Sweets?! I'm 17, man. 785 00:55:38,990 --> 00:55:41,460 Merry Christmas, lads. 786 00:55:41,550 --> 00:55:45,390 - And a happy new hearing aid. - Ta, son, same to you. 787 00:55:46,750 --> 00:55:49,140 Ha'way, I'm off. 788 00:55:50,350 --> 00:55:52,420 Where to? 789 00:55:52,510 --> 00:55:56,420 Out and about. We've done all right. We've got to be nearly there now. 790 00:55:56,510 --> 00:55:58,710 Aye, nearly there. 791 00:55:59,830 --> 00:56:01,790 Come on, Rusty. 792 00:56:08,390 --> 00:56:09,740 Sewell, man. 793 00:56:09,830 --> 00:56:11,820 Aye? 794 00:56:13,950 --> 00:56:16,550 - Nowt. See ya. - See ya. 795 00:56:20,790 --> 00:56:23,150 796 00:56:25,710 --> 00:56:27,460 797 00:56:28,710 --> 00:56:33,340 well, you just might like to know 798 00:56:33,430 --> 00:56:38,790 on somebody's face 799 00:56:40,030 --> 00:56:42,940 800 00:56:44,230 --> 00:56:46,270 Oh, God. 801 00:56:47,350 --> 00:56:49,310 What's up, Son? 802 00:56:51,830 --> 00:56:54,270 You've put... 803 00:56:54,350 --> 00:56:57,100 Christmas pud in the t... 804 00:56:59,790 --> 00:57:01,750 No matter, eh? 805 00:57:01,830 --> 00:57:03,790 Saves time, like. 806 00:57:04,630 --> 00:57:07,100 All ends up in the bog together. 807 00:57:13,670 --> 00:57:16,470 Cheer up, will you? It's New Years. 808 00:57:16,550 --> 00:57:19,990 A day out in Whitley Bay. You're into another new flat. 809 00:57:20,070 --> 00:57:22,900 Near our grand total. Toon's fourth in the league. 810 00:57:22,990 --> 00:57:26,590 And soon we can get back on the good things in life. 811 00:57:26,670 --> 00:57:28,980 I'm tellin' you man, I'm desperate now. 812 00:57:29,070 --> 00:57:31,220 First thing when we've got our tickets - 813 00:57:31,310 --> 00:57:33,140 a bit of tac, some booze. 814 00:57:33,230 --> 00:57:36,590 Go out and get totally peeved. Pure radgie, man. 815 00:57:36,670 --> 00:57:39,230 - Sewell? - Wrecked, smashed, eh? 816 00:57:39,310 --> 00:57:42,030 - Sewell, man. - Pissed and stoned as farts. 817 00:57:42,110 --> 00:57:45,740 Jesus, Sewell, man! There is no season tickets. 818 00:57:45,830 --> 00:57:47,790 And there never will be. 819 00:57:47,870 --> 00:57:50,940 Me old man found the money and took it. 820 00:57:51,030 --> 00:57:53,500 All of it? 821 00:57:53,590 --> 00:57:55,550 Just after the Sunderland match. 822 00:57:55,630 --> 00:57:58,990 That was months ago, and you're just tellin' us now? 823 00:57:59,070 --> 00:58:01,190 - You had a canny Christmas? - Aye, but... 824 00:58:01,270 --> 00:58:03,740 Well, that's why. Cos I didn't tell you. 825 00:58:03,830 --> 00:58:07,140 Look, I've got the money with us, what we've saved since. 826 00:58:07,230 --> 00:58:10,220 If you want to spend it, I'll understand. 827 00:58:11,310 --> 00:58:13,620 Have it, man. It's yours. 828 00:58:13,710 --> 00:58:18,180 Me father's a bastard, that's all there is to it. Take it and be done. 829 00:58:21,870 --> 00:58:25,100 - 'Next train to... ' - Gerry! 830 00:58:26,630 --> 00:58:28,910 You cannot give up on a mission. 831 00:58:28,990 --> 00:58:32,110 We'll gan down the boozer and hatch a plan. 832 00:58:32,190 --> 00:58:33,780 Gerry! 833 00:58:33,870 --> 00:58:35,910 All right. I've worked it out. 834 00:58:35,990 --> 00:58:39,460 It doesn't look good for this season, so how's about this. 835 00:58:39,550 --> 00:58:42,940 If we canna afford two, maybe we can share one. 836 00:58:43,030 --> 00:58:45,780 Me one week, you the next, or... 837 00:58:45,870 --> 00:58:47,940 I have first half, you second. 838 00:58:48,030 --> 00:58:50,390 Or, maybe... 839 00:58:50,470 --> 00:58:54,460 Ha'way, me favourite programme. You always see someone you know. 840 00:58:54,550 --> 00:58:57,540 'Have you seen these teenagers? They work as a team. 841 00:58:57,630 --> 00:59:00,380 'One about five feet, the other over six feet. 842 00:59:01,990 --> 00:59:06,910 'Here one poses as a blind person, as they steal goods in the city centre. 843 00:59:06,990 --> 00:59:09,820 'There's a reward for information leading to their arrest. 844 00:59:09,910 --> 00:59:12,550 'They appear to own a rusty-coloured dog. 845 00:59:12,630 --> 00:59:16,990 'The taller wears a bench coat of the kind football managers wear. 846 00:59:17,070 --> 00:59:20,540 'If you recognise these youths, please call us now.' 847 00:59:23,030 --> 00:59:25,590 They may as well have read out our names! 848 00:59:25,670 --> 00:59:28,470 Rusty an' all! Even your bench coat got a mention. 849 00:59:28,550 --> 00:59:30,830 All Tyneside will be looking for us. 850 00:59:30,910 --> 00:59:33,580 - What are we gonna do? - Pure and simple, Sewell. 851 00:59:33,670 --> 00:59:36,740 First off, we've gotta, you know, get rid of it. 852 00:59:36,830 --> 00:59:39,300 I like it, but it's a dead giveaway. 853 00:59:39,390 --> 00:59:40,980 I can't do that. 854 00:59:41,070 --> 00:59:43,670 It's dangerous. You have to get rid. 855 00:59:43,750 --> 00:59:46,390 I can't. I've had it for four years. 856 00:59:46,470 --> 00:59:49,430 - What? - Me coat, I've had it four years. 857 00:59:49,510 --> 00:59:52,820 Not your bench coat. There's something else that's gotta go. 858 00:59:54,990 --> 00:59:56,740 Aw, you can't mean it. 859 00:59:56,830 --> 00:59:58,660 That Matthew will have seen us. 860 00:59:58,750 --> 01:00:02,140 - I can 'ave him easy. - He's a radgie, man. A psycho. 861 01:00:02,230 --> 01:00:04,300 I can't do it. 862 01:00:04,390 --> 01:00:09,310 I can do me bench coat... at a push, but I can't do that. 863 01:00:09,390 --> 01:00:13,070 You do it. I can't. You do it. 864 01:00:15,110 --> 01:00:17,550 Don't worry, it's for the best. 865 01:00:19,030 --> 01:00:21,340 I love that dog. 866 01:00:24,070 --> 01:00:26,740 Sorry it's gotta end this way, Rusty. 867 01:00:26,830 --> 01:00:30,190 We can't have people seeing you now, can we? 868 01:00:30,270 --> 01:00:34,740 You've been a really nice dog. But you're also a dead giveaway. 869 01:00:36,150 --> 01:00:40,350 You've been a good dog, but, well, you know... 870 01:01:17,950 --> 01:01:19,910 Bridget? 871 01:01:20,830 --> 01:01:22,740 You all right, Gerry? 872 01:01:22,830 --> 01:01:27,220 Where've you been all this time? Where've you been sleepin'? 873 01:01:31,870 --> 01:01:35,660 Floors, mainly... floors, friends'. 874 01:01:36,750 --> 01:01:38,150 What you on? 875 01:01:38,230 --> 01:01:42,670 Owt, man, Gerry. Tac, E, Wobbly Eggs, poppers, smack. 876 01:01:42,750 --> 01:01:45,310 What about you? Still going mental on tac? 877 01:01:45,390 --> 01:01:47,430 - I've stopped... - Are you carryin'? 878 01:01:47,510 --> 01:01:49,420 I told you... 879 01:01:49,510 --> 01:01:52,630 You must have something, I know what you're like, anything. 880 01:01:52,710 --> 01:01:56,020 I am your sister. I'm desperate. Couple of quid, anything. 881 01:01:56,110 --> 01:01:59,950 Ha'way, man, I'm beggin' you. I need help. You fuck! 882 01:02:10,110 --> 01:02:12,070 How's Mam? 883 01:02:13,910 --> 01:02:16,510 She misses you, man, Bridge. We all do. 884 01:02:16,590 --> 01:02:19,030 We've moved again. He won't find us now. 885 01:02:19,110 --> 01:02:22,260 It's a canny flat. And I've sorted out your room. 886 01:02:22,350 --> 01:02:24,310 Brought your stuff in, your poster... 887 01:02:24,390 --> 01:02:28,230 Gerry, it doesn't matter where it is. It's not home any more. 888 01:02:28,310 --> 01:02:32,780 - This is my life. - We can do those things we used to. 889 01:02:32,870 --> 01:02:35,830 Aye, so can me dad. 890 01:02:36,910 --> 01:02:38,140 I'll look after ya. 891 01:02:38,230 --> 01:02:41,140 It wasn't just his fists, you know, Gerry. 892 01:02:44,510 --> 01:02:45,860 Gerry? 893 01:02:47,590 --> 01:02:50,390 Let us tell you where the flat is. 894 01:02:50,470 --> 01:02:52,460 Gerry, I don't wanna know. 895 01:02:54,710 --> 01:02:56,990 Anyway, what are you doing round here? 896 01:02:57,070 --> 01:02:59,630 Havin' a day out, like... with Sewell. 897 01:02:59,710 --> 01:03:02,020 Sewell? Is he still wearin' that bench coat? 898 01:03:02,110 --> 01:03:04,230 I bloody hope not. 899 01:03:07,230 --> 01:03:11,220 D'you want a burger? I'll get you a burger, eh? 900 01:03:15,070 --> 01:03:16,870 Gerry! 901 01:03:16,950 --> 01:03:20,580 Deep down, you're still nothing but a bloody angel, aren't you? 902 01:03:44,270 --> 01:03:45,860 Fuck! 903 01:03:57,550 --> 01:04:00,590 I'm not losin' it, Gerry, man. I've decided. 904 01:04:00,670 --> 01:04:04,030 I'll wear it inside out, but that's the limit. 905 01:04:04,110 --> 01:04:06,390 Besides, it helps with that other matter. 906 01:04:06,470 --> 01:04:09,270 I've been thinking about that too and it's sorted. 907 01:04:09,350 --> 01:04:12,070 All I've gotta do is wear 'im. 908 01:04:12,150 --> 01:04:13,710 Wear 'im?! 909 01:04:13,790 --> 01:04:16,100 You know, under me bench coat, like. 910 01:04:16,190 --> 01:04:18,180 What are you on about? 911 01:04:18,270 --> 01:04:22,230 You big soft lad, you. I knew you couldn't do it. 912 01:04:22,310 --> 01:04:26,860 Tying him to a post, like. Is that the best you could do? 913 01:04:26,950 --> 01:04:29,830 You can't keep him under your bench coat forever. 914 01:04:29,910 --> 01:04:33,350 Just till Gateshead, then I'll give him to Gemma - 915 01:04:33,430 --> 01:04:35,070 till it's all blown over. 916 01:04:35,150 --> 01:04:37,820 - Gemma? - Aye, seein' her now, man. 917 01:04:37,910 --> 01:04:39,500 You're jokin'. 918 01:04:39,590 --> 01:04:40,990 Why? 919 01:04:41,070 --> 01:04:43,300 Well, you're you, and Gemma's Gemma. 920 01:04:43,390 --> 01:04:46,030 Anyway, she's engaged to that orang-utan. 921 01:04:46,110 --> 01:04:48,020 That's all over, that is. 922 01:04:48,110 --> 01:04:51,070 Who's gonna pull your head out of your arse first - 923 01:04:51,150 --> 01:04:53,110 mad dog Matthew or Gemma's fella? 924 01:04:53,190 --> 01:04:55,940 - I'm Gemma's fella. - He's an ice-hockey player. 925 01:04:56,030 --> 01:04:58,670 - So? - Have you not seen them on telly? 926 01:04:58,750 --> 01:05:01,820 They gan fucking mental. He won't come after you alone. 927 01:05:01,910 --> 01:05:05,510 - He'll have the whole squad. - Poofs, I can have that lot. 928 01:05:07,030 --> 01:05:09,100 Shearer shoots. One nil! 929 01:05:10,670 --> 01:05:13,420 Hey, Gerry, man. This time next year, eh? 930 01:05:13,510 --> 01:05:16,710 You'll be dead, with a hockey stick up your arse. 931 01:05:16,790 --> 01:05:19,990 Shearer... Two nil! 932 01:05:22,350 --> 01:05:24,660 'Shearer, Shearer... ' 933 01:05:27,350 --> 01:05:29,820 What are you thinking, Gerry, man? 934 01:05:30,550 --> 01:05:32,910 It's a mad plan, this, Gerry. 935 01:05:32,990 --> 01:05:36,140 We'll never find out if we miss the bloody bus. 936 01:05:36,230 --> 01:05:40,220 Two minutes. I just said I'd see her for two minutes. 937 01:05:44,750 --> 01:05:46,710 All reeght, lads? 938 01:05:47,590 --> 01:05:50,340 All reeght? 939 01:05:50,430 --> 01:05:53,660 Hey, youse look smaller than you do on telly. 940 01:05:53,750 --> 01:05:57,270 New bench coat, Sewell, like? 'Bout time. 941 01:05:57,350 --> 01:05:59,630 Sewell, pet, I've got you some bait. 942 01:05:59,710 --> 01:06:02,670 I know you'll eat most being so fat, like. 943 01:06:02,750 --> 01:06:05,820 But it's for you too, Gerry. Doorsteps and cans. 944 01:06:05,910 --> 01:06:07,820 Ain't she the best, man? 945 01:06:07,910 --> 01:06:11,950 I don't know. You TV celebs get all the perks, like. 946 01:06:12,030 --> 01:06:14,100 Ha'way, Sewell, I need a word. 947 01:06:19,990 --> 01:06:21,950 Are they shaggin', like? 948 01:06:22,030 --> 01:06:24,780 What are you? Inspector fuckin' Morse? 949 01:06:24,870 --> 01:06:27,390 - So where youse goin? - Nowhere. 950 01:06:27,470 --> 01:06:29,990 Is that what the careers officer said? 951 01:06:30,070 --> 01:06:33,670 Gerry, man... bag o' lucky dip. 952 01:06:33,750 --> 01:06:36,350 - Nah. - Ha'way, man. A fiver, like. 953 01:06:36,430 --> 01:06:38,990 Sewell an' me's off all that now. 954 01:06:39,070 --> 01:06:41,190 Why, like? 955 01:06:41,270 --> 01:06:43,910 Ha'way, Sewell, man. Let's get gannin' bef... 956 01:06:46,070 --> 01:06:48,220 Oh, fuck! The psycho bollocks. 957 01:06:52,510 --> 01:06:54,950 Sewell, man! He's radgie off his head. 958 01:06:55,030 --> 01:06:56,670 For God's sake, fuckin' run! 959 01:07:00,950 --> 01:07:02,100 See ya. 960 01:07:02,190 --> 01:07:06,030 Don't ye move, man. Don't ye fuckin' move. 961 01:07:07,310 --> 01:07:08,870 You took me dog. 962 01:07:08,950 --> 01:07:11,550 He's mine, and you took him. 963 01:07:11,630 --> 01:07:13,380 Mine! 964 01:07:15,750 --> 01:07:17,550 I didn't take him, he... 965 01:07:29,670 --> 01:07:33,140 I didn't take him. He followed us. 966 01:07:34,990 --> 01:07:36,900 Stay! 967 01:07:41,750 --> 01:07:44,030 - See you later, Gemma. - See you, Sewell. 968 01:07:44,110 --> 01:07:46,150 What about the hound? 969 01:07:46,230 --> 01:07:50,140 You can't leave Rusty. You love him, you daft bloody git. 970 01:07:50,230 --> 01:07:52,830 I've got someone else to love now. 971 01:07:59,830 --> 01:08:02,740 What's so funny, like? What are you smilin' at? 972 01:08:02,830 --> 01:08:06,510 - I'm just happy, man. - High more like. What are you on? 973 01:08:06,590 --> 01:08:08,900 Life, man, just life. 974 01:08:13,270 --> 01:08:15,420 She's still lookin' after us, Sewell, eh? 975 01:08:20,990 --> 01:08:24,430 You don't think this lot's after season tickets, do you? 976 01:08:24,510 --> 01:08:27,420 No. Nae one else is that smart. 977 01:08:32,750 --> 01:08:36,900 Shearer! Shearer! 978 01:08:41,350 --> 01:08:43,470 Alan! 979 01:08:43,550 --> 01:08:45,380 - Mr Shearer! - Alan! 980 01:08:45,470 --> 01:08:49,670 Mr Shearer! Alan! 981 01:08:49,750 --> 01:08:51,950 - Mr Shearer! - Alan! 982 01:09:10,350 --> 01:09:12,580 What can I do for you, lads? 983 01:09:12,670 --> 01:09:15,740 Can you give us a pair of season tickets? 984 01:09:15,830 --> 01:09:18,470 One'll do, like, if you canna manage two. 985 01:09:28,990 --> 01:09:31,140 Gerry, man, what did you expect? 986 01:09:31,230 --> 01:09:34,110 Respect, man. I'll make them take notice of us. 987 01:09:34,190 --> 01:09:35,990 Yeah, yeah. 988 01:09:38,630 --> 01:09:40,750 - What are you doin'? - Get in. 989 01:09:40,830 --> 01:09:43,390 - Gerry, man. - Just get in, will you! 990 01:09:45,750 --> 01:09:49,630 Gerry, I don't think this is one of your better idea... 991 01:09:56,870 --> 01:09:59,910 992 01:09:59,990 --> 01:10:01,980 brighter... 993 01:10:02,070 --> 01:10:05,860 Ha'way, Sewell, what a motor! Right little fanny magnet this. 994 01:10:05,950 --> 01:10:08,670 Ah, Jesus! Gerry, man! 995 01:10:08,750 --> 01:10:11,310 - What? - This isn't ANY fanny magnet. 996 01:10:11,390 --> 01:10:14,030 It's Alan bloody Shearer's fanny magnet! 997 01:10:14,110 --> 01:10:17,100 - Eh? - This is all his fan mail here. 998 01:10:17,190 --> 01:10:20,550 We're in Alan Shearer's bloody motor, man. 999 01:10:20,630 --> 01:10:23,780 Aye, that'll teach him to laugh at us. 1000 01:10:23,870 --> 01:10:28,500 Ha'way, Sewell, man. He's got a CD player. What's he got? 1001 01:10:28,590 --> 01:10:30,500 - Oh, no, Alan. - What? 1002 01:10:30,590 --> 01:10:32,230 It's all the old tarts. 1003 01:10:32,310 --> 01:10:36,270 Des'ree, Natalie Umbroolioolia. 1004 01:10:36,350 --> 01:10:39,950 Gabrielle?! You know that slapper with the patch? 1005 01:10:40,030 --> 01:10:43,180 - Oh, no, no, Alan. - What now? 1006 01:10:43,270 --> 01:10:46,020 Celine friggin' Dion! 1007 01:10:50,270 --> 01:10:52,420 We'll have to wreck it somewhere. 1008 01:10:52,510 --> 01:10:54,870 We canna wreck it, it's Shearer's. 1009 01:10:54,950 --> 01:10:58,150 We canna keep driving it for the same reason. 1010 01:10:58,230 --> 01:11:02,780 Great plan, Gerry, man. Ask Alan Shearer for season tickets, 1011 01:11:02,870 --> 01:11:05,340 and end up twoccing his bloody motor. 1012 01:11:05,430 --> 01:11:07,710 Hey, but, man, at last, eh? Eh? 1013 01:11:07,790 --> 01:11:11,230 - At last, what? - Something to tell me grand bairns. 1014 01:11:11,310 --> 01:11:13,060 1015 01:11:13,150 --> 01:11:15,510 1016 01:11:15,590 --> 01:11:17,740 1017 01:11:17,830 --> 01:11:22,110 but I know that you're real 1018 01:11:22,190 --> 01:11:26,180 and baby it's you 1019 01:11:26,270 --> 01:11:28,180 1020 01:11:28,270 --> 01:11:30,910 1021 01:11:30,990 --> 01:11:33,270 1022 01:11:33,350 --> 01:11:35,390 1023 01:11:35,470 --> 01:11:37,460 1024 01:11:37,550 --> 01:11:40,350 1025 01:11:40,430 --> 01:11:42,470 1026 01:11:42,550 --> 01:11:45,460 It's gotta be around here somewhere. 1027 01:11:45,550 --> 01:11:48,940 - What? - Newcastle. 1028 01:11:50,510 --> 01:11:53,420 on your own and... 1029 01:11:53,510 --> 01:11:54,860 Sewell, man, 1030 01:11:54,950 --> 01:11:59,660 have you ever wondered why... we are... like we are? 1031 01:11:59,750 --> 01:12:03,060 What? Bloody hungry and fucking lost? 1032 01:12:03,150 --> 01:12:04,980 No, I mean, what decides - 1033 01:12:05,070 --> 01:12:07,590 you're going to be brainy, you're not, 1034 01:12:07,670 --> 01:12:09,630 you're going to be lucky, you're not, 1035 01:12:09,710 --> 01:12:12,540 you're gonna have, you're gonna have not. 1036 01:12:12,630 --> 01:12:16,020 Like, you're gonna be Bobby Robson, you're gonna be Gullit? 1037 01:12:16,110 --> 01:12:19,870 Aye. You're gonna be top-drawer and you're gonna be scum. 1038 01:12:19,950 --> 01:12:22,180 Cos that's what we are, you know. 1039 01:12:22,270 --> 01:12:24,710 Aye, top-drawer. 1040 01:12:25,870 --> 01:12:27,750 Jesus, man! What are you doin'? 1041 01:12:27,830 --> 01:12:31,350 If I wanted to listen to a whining arsehole, I'd fart. 1042 01:12:31,430 --> 01:12:33,310 Are you goin' for a dip? 1043 01:12:33,390 --> 01:12:36,140 1044 01:12:36,230 --> 01:12:38,380 1045 01:12:38,470 --> 01:12:41,140 Belter, man! It's purely belter! 1046 01:12:41,230 --> 01:12:42,980 Ha'way, man, get your kit off! 1047 01:12:43,070 --> 01:12:45,510 you got to be strong... 1048 01:12:47,910 --> 01:12:51,190 It's freezing. It's fucking freezing, man! 1049 01:12:51,270 --> 01:12:53,260 It's cushty. 1050 01:13:05,070 --> 01:13:07,900 Ah, I could eat a scabby donkey, me. 1051 01:13:07,990 --> 01:13:11,980 Aye, and all we've got's a scabby fish. 1052 01:13:12,070 --> 01:13:15,750 So where did you learn that? Fishin' with your mitts? 1053 01:13:15,830 --> 01:13:18,270 Me dad learned us, when I was a bairn. 1054 01:13:18,350 --> 01:13:21,790 Did he learn you lots of stuff, your old man? 1055 01:13:21,870 --> 01:13:26,100 Me dad's not me old man. I live wi' me granddad. 1056 01:13:26,190 --> 01:13:30,260 I just call him me dad. I never knew me real dad... 1057 01:13:30,350 --> 01:13:32,390 or me mam. 1058 01:13:32,470 --> 01:13:34,350 What happened to them? 1059 01:13:34,430 --> 01:13:38,140 Nowt. They just went away, like. 1060 01:13:39,590 --> 01:13:42,710 I was just something that they... didn't need. 1061 01:13:44,310 --> 01:13:47,140 Do you not... you know, want to find them? 1062 01:13:48,350 --> 01:13:50,310 I'd only kill 'em. 1063 01:13:51,590 --> 01:13:53,710 Maybes that's what I was on about. 1064 01:13:53,790 --> 01:13:56,430 You know, what makes you what you are. 1065 01:13:56,510 --> 01:14:01,350 Maybes that's it. A good dad, one that loves you, 1066 01:14:01,430 --> 01:14:03,470 wants you and that. 1067 01:14:05,350 --> 01:14:08,710 A good dad. That's what I'm gonna be. 1068 01:14:08,790 --> 01:14:10,750 Aye, me too. 1069 01:14:11,830 --> 01:14:13,900 No, Gerry, man. I mean soon. 1070 01:14:15,110 --> 01:14:18,260 I'm gonna be a father. Gemma's... you know. 1071 01:14:21,310 --> 01:14:23,270 You sure it's yours? 1072 01:14:23,350 --> 01:14:25,550 Fuck off! Gemma's a lady. 1073 01:14:25,630 --> 01:14:28,620 Gemma's Gemma, and she's 15. 1074 01:14:28,710 --> 01:14:31,070 So we'll have longer together. 1075 01:14:33,630 --> 01:14:36,150 You could always... it's not too late... 1076 01:14:36,230 --> 01:14:38,540 I'm happy about it, right? Dead happy. 1077 01:14:38,630 --> 01:14:42,510 Happier than I've ever been in my whole life. Right? 1078 01:14:50,030 --> 01:14:52,310 Jesus, man! What's that? 1079 01:14:52,390 --> 01:14:55,860 I thought we gave all that up for our season tickets. 1080 01:14:55,950 --> 01:14:58,670 No team's that good, Gerry, man. 1081 01:15:04,230 --> 01:15:07,510 Gerry, man. The season ticket thing... 1082 01:15:09,270 --> 01:15:14,270 That was just about havin' a bit of fun, right? Something to do? 1083 01:15:14,350 --> 01:15:15,830 Was? 1084 01:15:15,910 --> 01:15:19,590 It was great, but... it was just a game. 1085 01:15:19,670 --> 01:15:23,950 Dreamin' of better things, like. Being something. 1086 01:15:24,030 --> 01:15:26,940 I don't have to dream any more. 1087 01:16:14,910 --> 01:16:18,700 I couldn't nick a bit of ribbon off you, could I? 1088 01:16:18,790 --> 01:16:20,860 Course you can, love. 1089 01:16:23,710 --> 01:16:26,100 'Two little ducks, 22.' 1090 01:16:27,750 --> 01:16:30,660 Them famous steps, it's 39. 1091 01:16:33,150 --> 01:16:35,980 Those lovely legs, 11. 1092 01:16:38,790 --> 01:16:42,550 Top of the shop, blind 90. 1093 01:16:44,670 --> 01:16:47,550 Two fat ladies, 88. 1094 01:16:47,630 --> 01:16:50,100 Gerry, are you all right, Son? 1095 01:16:50,190 --> 01:16:53,580 I only need one. I only need number eight. 1096 01:16:53,670 --> 01:16:57,140 Eight, come on. This is it, number eight. Eight, eight. 1097 01:16:57,230 --> 01:17:00,590 Alan Shearer, number nine. 1098 01:17:00,670 --> 01:17:02,020 House! 1099 01:17:02,110 --> 01:17:03,940 Ah, fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! 1100 01:17:04,030 --> 01:17:06,940 The University of Life, Son. You've just graduated! 1101 01:17:07,030 --> 01:17:09,470 House call on number nine. 1102 01:17:09,550 --> 01:17:12,670 Checking for any more calls on number nine? 1103 01:17:12,750 --> 01:17:15,790 Checking one call for number nine. 1104 01:17:17,950 --> 01:17:20,260 You all right, Mam? 1105 01:17:39,870 --> 01:17:42,230 I think I'm sick this time, Son. 1106 01:17:45,110 --> 01:17:47,310 The doctor says you'll be all right. 1107 01:17:47,390 --> 01:17:51,350 What would he know? He's only 11. 1108 01:17:53,590 --> 01:17:56,660 Nah, Son. Think I'm knackered. 1109 01:17:58,710 --> 01:18:01,910 Gerry, pet, let us get some rest, will you? 1110 01:18:01,990 --> 01:18:03,950 I'm tired. 1111 01:18:51,590 --> 01:18:54,790 punking instigator 1112 01:18:58,270 --> 01:19:01,390 danger illustrated... 1113 01:19:01,470 --> 01:19:04,510 - Hiya. - I got you a tea. 1114 01:19:04,590 --> 01:19:07,500 Ta. I got you this. 1115 01:19:10,430 --> 01:19:12,390 It's massive, man, Sewell. 1116 01:19:12,470 --> 01:19:15,220 Aye, but, you're scoffing for two now, like. 1117 01:19:21,070 --> 01:19:23,740 I'm 15, man. I cannot handle all that stuff. 1118 01:19:23,830 --> 01:19:26,870 I had to do it, Sewell. I had no choice. 1119 01:19:26,950 --> 01:19:29,020 If he'd found out, that would've been it. 1120 01:19:29,110 --> 01:19:32,900 Sewell, man, you're a dead nice lad, and I love you loads. 1121 01:19:32,990 --> 01:19:36,220 It's just Zak's got a job... a future. 1122 01:19:36,310 --> 01:19:38,270 And you've got... 1123 01:19:40,590 --> 01:19:43,580 I've got a chance, you know, a real chance 1124 01:19:43,670 --> 01:19:45,820 to have a decent life. 1125 01:19:49,350 --> 01:19:51,740 You understand that, don't you? 1126 01:19:53,550 --> 01:19:54,900 Sewell? 1127 01:20:18,990 --> 01:20:20,710 You, you bastard! 1128 01:20:26,310 --> 01:20:29,460 punking instigator 1129 01:20:32,910 --> 01:20:36,460 danger illustrated... 1130 01:20:53,590 --> 01:20:57,900 1131 01:20:57,990 --> 01:21:01,980 1132 01:21:04,110 --> 01:21:09,190 1133 01:21:09,270 --> 01:21:12,230 1134 01:21:14,630 --> 01:21:19,860 I should have said and done 1135 01:21:19,950 --> 01:21:25,030 1136 01:21:25,110 --> 01:21:30,710 1137 01:21:30,790 --> 01:21:34,390 1138 01:21:34,470 --> 01:21:35,900 - Mam's sick. - Eh? 1139 01:21:35,990 --> 01:21:37,740 She's in hospital, man. 1140 01:21:37,830 --> 01:21:40,870 Do I look like somebody who gives a fuck? 1141 01:21:40,950 --> 01:21:42,590 1142 01:21:42,670 --> 01:21:46,300 You should do. You put her there! 1143 01:21:46,390 --> 01:21:49,430 I never told you... 1144 01:21:49,510 --> 01:21:52,030 Dad! Dad! 1145 01:21:52,110 --> 01:21:54,310 that you're mine... 1146 01:21:54,390 --> 01:21:57,430 - Dad! - Ah, jeez, fuck off, Son, eh? 1147 01:21:57,510 --> 01:22:02,220 1148 01:22:02,310 --> 01:22:07,470 1149 01:22:07,550 --> 01:22:12,070 1150 01:22:12,350 --> 01:22:16,900 1151 01:22:16,990 --> 01:22:22,020 1152 01:22:22,110 --> 01:22:26,980 hasn't died 1153 01:22:27,070 --> 01:22:32,350 1154 01:22:32,430 --> 01:22:37,380 to make you satisfied 1155 01:22:37,470 --> 01:22:40,430 1156 01:22:47,350 --> 01:22:49,340 Fuck, Sewell, man. What happened? 1157 01:22:49,430 --> 01:22:51,740 You should see the state of them. 1158 01:22:51,830 --> 01:22:53,790 What are you doing, man? 1159 01:22:56,310 --> 01:23:00,270 I'm like you, man, Sewell, still waitin' for them better things. 1160 01:23:14,350 --> 01:23:18,420 I hope you're right proud of yourself, you big fucking twat! 1161 01:23:18,510 --> 01:23:20,710 You were meant to see us through! 1162 01:23:27,390 --> 01:23:29,540 So what made you come here? 1163 01:23:31,510 --> 01:23:33,470 I dunno. 1164 01:23:38,790 --> 01:23:41,230 It's the only way. All in one job. 1165 01:23:41,310 --> 01:23:43,460 One big job. Are you with us? 1166 01:23:43,550 --> 01:23:45,750 - Yeah, when though? - Today. 1167 01:23:45,830 --> 01:23:47,260 - Today? - Now. 1168 01:23:47,350 --> 01:23:48,700 Where? 1169 01:23:48,790 --> 01:23:52,070 Dunno, wherever we are when we've finished the song. 1170 01:23:52,150 --> 01:23:54,820 - No turning back, right? - No turning back. 1171 01:23:54,910 --> 01:23:58,460 It'll be great, man. We'll be sittin' in our own seats. 1172 01:23:58,550 --> 01:24:00,300 We'll go to every match. 1173 01:24:00,390 --> 01:24:03,270 you shoulda seen us gannin'... 1174 01:24:03,350 --> 01:24:06,340 Aye, drinkin' our tea. Two sugars, dead milky. 1175 01:24:06,430 --> 01:24:09,310 just as they were stannin'... 1176 01:24:09,390 --> 01:24:11,300 - No one annoying us. - Belter. 1177 01:24:11,390 --> 01:24:12,740 Purely belter. 1178 01:24:12,830 --> 01:24:15,060 all with smilin' faces 1179 01:24:15,150 --> 01:24:19,990 to see the Blaydon Races 1180 01:24:20,070 --> 01:24:23,060 Fuck! Gerry, man, are you sure? 1181 01:24:25,470 --> 01:24:28,940 - No turnin' back, right? - Aye, but... what's the plan, like? 1182 01:24:31,590 --> 01:24:35,140 There isn't one. Take your jacket off. 1183 01:24:46,670 --> 01:24:50,270 Ha'way, Gerry, son. You all right? You all right, Sewell? 1184 01:24:50,350 --> 01:24:53,260 - All right, Auntie Maud. - Mrs Jackson. 1185 01:24:53,350 --> 01:24:57,390 What are you two playin' at? You look like you're robbin' the bank. 1186 01:24:57,470 --> 01:24:59,510 No, just... just cold, like. 1187 01:24:59,590 --> 01:25:02,660 How's your mam? I hear she's had a turn, like. 1188 01:25:02,750 --> 01:25:06,740 Look, we canna stop, Auntie Maud, we're in a rush, like. 1189 01:25:06,830 --> 01:25:08,870 Aye, no rest for the wicked, eh? 1190 01:25:08,950 --> 01:25:10,350 - See ya. - See ya. 1191 01:25:12,750 --> 01:25:14,100 Stay here. 1192 01:25:24,270 --> 01:25:27,150 - Next window, please. - I'm robbin' the bank. 1193 01:25:27,230 --> 01:25:30,350 - Sorry? - I'm robbin' the bank! 1194 01:25:30,430 --> 01:25:32,180 Next window, please. 1195 01:25:34,990 --> 01:25:36,340 Sorry? 1196 01:25:39,390 --> 01:25:42,430 - Give us a thousand pounds. - Got an account number? 1197 01:25:42,510 --> 01:25:45,180 No, but I've got a fuckin' gun! 1198 01:25:45,270 --> 01:25:47,830 Come on now, son. A joke's a joke. 1199 01:25:47,910 --> 01:25:52,060 This isn't a fuckin' joke! Laugh again and I'll blow your head off! 1200 01:25:52,150 --> 01:25:54,540 Now give us a thousand pounds! 1201 01:25:56,070 --> 01:25:59,270 Give him the money... or this fella gets it! 1202 01:26:01,590 --> 01:26:05,660 All right. All right, now calm down. Just a thousand. 1203 01:26:05,750 --> 01:26:07,630 Erm... yeah. 1204 01:26:07,710 --> 01:26:09,940 - You only want a thousand? - Yeah. 1205 01:26:10,030 --> 01:26:12,590 - How do you want it? - What?! How do I want it? 1206 01:26:12,670 --> 01:26:15,030 I don't know. Quickly! 1207 01:26:15,110 --> 01:26:18,660 I've only got 300 in my drawer, I'll have to go back there. 1208 01:26:18,750 --> 01:26:21,580 All right. But don't you dare press any buttons. 1209 01:26:25,590 --> 01:26:27,550 That's just a coat. 1210 01:26:27,630 --> 01:26:29,620 You haven't got a gun. 1211 01:26:31,630 --> 01:26:33,590 You can't be sure. 1212 01:26:33,670 --> 01:26:34,990 Pretty sure. 1213 01:26:36,390 --> 01:26:37,900 There's nothin' in there. 1214 01:26:37,990 --> 01:26:39,660 Come on. Come on! 1215 01:26:39,750 --> 01:26:42,790 Not 100% sure though, though, are you? 1216 01:26:42,870 --> 01:26:45,830 Well, then... 1217 01:26:45,910 --> 01:26:48,550 Take a walk if you feel lucky. 1218 01:26:51,790 --> 01:26:54,940 Do you feel lucky... punk? 1219 01:26:56,150 --> 01:26:58,110 Actually, I do, quite. 1220 01:26:59,670 --> 01:27:01,580 Gerry, man. 1221 01:27:01,670 --> 01:27:04,500 Don't use my friggin' name, Sewell, man. Ah, shite! 1222 01:27:07,630 --> 01:27:09,430 Good God, man! 1223 01:27:13,270 --> 01:27:14,620 Jesus, man! 1224 01:27:14,710 --> 01:27:18,470 Give it here, man. Give it here! 1225 01:27:20,350 --> 01:27:23,790 You fucker, man! Give it here! Give it, man. 1226 01:27:23,870 --> 01:27:27,150 Ha'way, Gerry, man. I mean, Kevin, man. 1227 01:27:27,230 --> 01:27:28,980 Let's go! Leave it! 1228 01:27:29,070 --> 01:27:31,270 Armed police! 1229 01:27:32,790 --> 01:27:35,180 Armed police! Hold it! 1230 01:27:35,270 --> 01:27:38,310 It was only for our tickets. That's all. 1231 01:27:41,630 --> 01:27:45,310 Nearly a fuckin' year. And this is all we've got. 1232 01:27:45,390 --> 01:27:49,780 Are we gonna split it, like? Fifty-fifty? 1233 01:27:49,870 --> 01:27:52,180 It's not funny, Sewell, man. 1234 01:27:52,270 --> 01:27:55,390 We can give it to me dad when he visits. 1235 01:27:55,470 --> 01:27:57,300 He can bury it somewhere. 1236 01:27:57,390 --> 01:28:00,270 He'll never remember where he buried it, like, but... 1237 01:28:00,350 --> 01:28:03,420 If he did, we could escape and fly to Spain. 1238 01:28:03,510 --> 01:28:06,580 Splash out on a couple of season passes to Juventus. 1239 01:28:08,790 --> 01:28:10,140 Two teas. 1240 01:28:12,950 --> 01:28:15,100 Can I have mine more milky? 1241 01:28:16,670 --> 01:28:19,550 - Which one's McCarten? - Me. 1242 01:28:19,630 --> 01:28:23,750 Er, the hospital's been on. There's some bad news, like. 1243 01:28:28,470 --> 01:28:31,860 In the silence of this hour, speak to us of eternal things, 1244 01:28:31,950 --> 01:28:35,070 that through comfort of the scriptures we may have hope, 1245 01:28:35,150 --> 01:28:39,380 and be lifted above our darkness into the light of thy presence. 1246 01:28:39,470 --> 01:28:41,940 Through Jesus Christ Our Lord, Amen. 1247 01:28:42,030 --> 01:28:45,910 And now we say a final farewell to a much loved 1248 01:28:45,990 --> 01:28:48,380 and fondly cherished member of our community. 1249 01:28:48,470 --> 01:28:52,180 A loyal friend, doting father, a loving husband... 1250 01:28:52,270 --> 01:28:55,580 cruelly taken from us during a moment's lack of concentration 1251 01:28:55,670 --> 01:28:58,950 crossing the inner ring road late last Thursday night. 1252 01:28:59,030 --> 01:29:02,260 We will all miss Billy McCarten. 1253 01:29:02,350 --> 01:29:04,790 Thank fuck the bus driver didn't. 1254 01:29:07,910 --> 01:29:11,270 Please all stand for the hymn, Now Thank We All Our God. 1255 01:29:18,310 --> 01:29:20,590 Despite hearing very positive accounts 1256 01:29:20,670 --> 01:29:23,710 regarding the characters of these two youths, 1257 01:29:23,790 --> 01:29:28,150 it would be remiss to ignore the gravity of this misdemeanour. 1258 01:29:28,230 --> 01:29:30,980 Your spelling's coming on. 1259 01:29:31,070 --> 01:29:33,060 The evidence heard plainly indicates 1260 01:29:33,150 --> 01:29:36,270 that this was hardly the work of hardened criminals. 1261 01:29:36,350 --> 01:29:40,310 Indeed, the fact the accused put a ceiling limit on their demands 1262 01:29:40,390 --> 01:29:45,860 leads one to suspect this was quite clearly a first-time effort. 1263 01:29:45,950 --> 01:29:49,910 In the hope that it will also be a LAST time, 1264 01:29:49,990 --> 01:29:54,750 I sentence Gerald McCarten and James Sewell 1265 01:29:54,830 --> 01:30:00,110 each to 200 hours' community service over the next 12 months. 1266 01:30:02,750 --> 01:30:04,870 It'll fly by. 1267 01:30:12,590 --> 01:30:15,310 - Hello, lads. - There you are, Miss Whittaker. 1268 01:30:15,390 --> 01:30:16,740 Thank you. 1269 01:30:19,510 --> 01:30:22,580 - Here you are, Mrs Snowden. - Thank you, dear. 1270 01:30:26,750 --> 01:30:28,550 Thank you. 1271 01:30:38,470 --> 01:30:40,220 All right, Mrs Nelson. 1272 01:30:56,070 --> 01:30:58,950 - Hello, Beryl, pet. - Hiya, big lads. 1273 01:30:59,030 --> 01:31:02,180 - How are youse two? - All right, Beryl, pet. You? 1274 01:31:02,270 --> 01:31:06,030 All the better for seeing you. Come in. Come in. 1275 01:31:07,470 --> 01:31:11,860 - Here you are, Beryl. - Thanks, me little angels. 1276 01:31:11,950 --> 01:31:16,740 Aye! It's nearly time, lads. Your tea's on the side there. 1277 01:31:16,830 --> 01:31:19,270 - I'll see you later. - Thanks, Beryl. 1278 01:31:19,350 --> 01:31:20,830 See you later, Beryl. 1279 01:31:30,430 --> 01:31:34,060 - Belter, eh? - Aye, purely belter. 1280 01:31:54,030 --> 01:31:56,780 1281 01:31:56,870 --> 01:32:00,470 well, I don't need keys 1282 01:32:00,550 --> 01:32:03,860 round the country lanes 1283 01:32:03,950 --> 01:32:07,910 and the sirens wailing 1284 01:32:15,110 --> 01:32:18,180 they've assembled clones 1285 01:32:18,270 --> 01:32:21,470 houses with the no go zones 1286 01:32:21,550 --> 01:32:25,340 and the view is great 1287 01:32:25,430 --> 01:32:28,950 housewives wailing 1288 01:32:36,030 --> 01:32:39,230 1289 01:32:39,310 --> 01:32:43,940 1290 01:32:49,150 --> 01:32:52,430 1291 01:32:52,510 --> 01:32:54,630 1292 01:32:55,910 --> 01:33:01,830 1293 01:33:03,790 --> 01:33:06,780 it's an adhesive bliss 1294 01:33:06,870 --> 01:33:10,180 sees the world like this 1295 01:33:10,270 --> 01:33:13,790 of the crack squad YTS 1296 01:33:13,870 --> 01:33:17,940 like the SAS 1297 01:33:24,870 --> 01:33:28,100 1298 01:33:28,190 --> 01:33:31,470 1299 01:33:31,550 --> 01:33:35,020 1300 01:33:35,110 --> 01:33:39,420 1301 01:33:52,870 --> 01:33:55,830 they've assembled clones 1302 01:33:55,910 --> 01:33:59,270 houses with the no go zones 1303 01:33:59,350 --> 01:34:02,710 and the view is great 1304 01:34:02,790 --> 01:34:06,700 housewives wailing 1305 01:34:13,710 --> 01:34:16,910 1306 01:34:16,990 --> 01:34:21,670 1307 01:34:26,910 --> 01:34:29,950 1308 01:34:30,030 --> 01:34:32,260 1309 01:34:33,750 --> 01:34:39,380 1310 01:34:39,470 --> 01:34:41,670 DVD Subtitles by European Captioning Institute